Rocket warming upOnce again, it appears Roger Clemens is set to make his 2007 big league debut this Saturday against the Pittsburgh Pirates after throwing 55 pitches during batting practice at the New York Yankees' minor league complex.

After taking BP, the Rocket assured the media that everything went well... meaning... nothing is broken?

The 44-year-old veteran originally planned to pitch Monday at the Chicago White Sox, but scratched himself from the start last Saturday due to the mysterious condition know simply as a "fatigued" groin.

An MRI exam Monday showed the right-hander had a scar tissue injury in his right groin, which is no longer bothering him, apparently.

But don't get your hopes up, Rocket fans. You just never know what might ail the future Hall of Famer.

[] | [Yankees Chick]

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Return of the Rocket Nearing

serious rocket
For those of you closely following the Rocket saga, you're in luck! You might get some action this coming weekend.

The New York Yankees are crossing their fingers in hopes that Roger Clemens will be able to make his first start this coming Saturday against the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Clemens pitched six scoreless innings for the AAA Scranton-Wilkes Barre Yankees last Monday and appeared on the verge of rejoining the Bronx Bombers, who are 10.5 games behind the AL East-leading nemesis Boston Red Sox.

However, as he was scheduled to make his first start today against the Chicago White Sox, Rocket was scratched with "right groin fatigue" which he reported Saturday. The 44-year-old veteran will have an MRI today before the club makes any official decisions on his return.

[] | [The LoHud Yankees Blog] | [Top Ten]

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Minor League Rocket
As the New York Yankees' rotation woes continue, Roger Clemens looked all but ready for big league action last night.

The seven-time Cy Young Award winner allowed three runs and six hits in 5.1 innings while pitching for the Double-A Trenton Thunder against the Portland Sea Dogs. Of course, he thought he did awesome.

"So far so good," he said.
He threw 64 of 102 pitches for strikes and struggled a bit with his control, walking the bases loaded in the first inning and walking in the tying run in the sixth.

Clemens walked four, struck out five, hit a batter and threw a wild pitch. He gave up four extra base hits, including three doubles and a triple. Sweet performance.

In fact, he would have been the losing pitcher but the Thunder tied the game at 3-all in the ninth and won 4-3 in the 10th inning. By that time, about 95% of the record crowd had left, with most walking out after giving the Rocket a standing O when he was pulled for his pitch count.

After Clemens threw two balls to start the game, one heckler yelled "Come on! Throw a strike!"

If all goes well... Clemens could hop into New York's rotation Monday or Tuesday against the Toronto Blue Jays - one of his former teams.

However, if he wishes for more work, Roger might choose to make another minor league start, maybe for the AAA Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees, before returning to the big leagues June 2nd or 3rd at Boston, his original club. Which would be perfect. Especially against Curt Schilling.

[Bloomberg] | [LoHud Yankees Blog]

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Them's Fightin' Words

I'm Kyle Farnsworth and I'm a badass shades-wearin' Yankee reliever.A nice rule of thumb most major leaguers live by is to try their best not to publicly criticize their teammates. Under any circumstances... even when that teammate is a total media whore, but especially when he happens to be a future Hall of Famer.

New York Yankees' reliever Kyle Farnsworth, who is 0-1 with a pretty terrible 4.41 ERA and 2 blown saves so far this season, begs to differ.

During an appearance on Chicago's 670 AM radio show "The Score" Thursday morning, he started off by criticizing the strange family clause in Roger Clemens' new one-year, $28 million contract which allows him to leave the team for personal matters when he's not pitching.

Then, he spurted his beliefs all over the Yankees' clubhouse before their 4-1 loss to the Chicago White Sox.

"As far as a teammate and a player, I think everybody should be here whether they're pitching or not," he said. "You don't see guys who are hurt not sit on the bench. They're always there."
I'm Roger Clemens and I'll beat your ass and have my wife Bedazzle a big fat L across you forehead if you don't shut the hell up.Roger's response went a little something like, "Well, until you win 7 Cy Youngs, 2 pitching triple crowns, an MVP, 2 World Series rings, get invited to eleven All-Star games or someone marries your dumb ass, there will be no bitching about my many contract clauses."

When asked if he thought Clemens' possible absence during his off days would be an issue this season, Farnsworth said, "We'll see."

I reckon them's fightin' words.

Editor's note: Recognizing the Rocket's talent does in no way validate a liking toward said Rocket.

[] | [Yankees Chick] | [BeDazzler!]

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Boomer: "The Yankees Have Changed"

David Wells thinks Roger Clemens is disrespecting the game in choosing not to traveling with his teammatesAccording to a family clause in Roger Clemens' contract, he will once again not be forced to travel with the New York Yankees on days he is not scheduled to pitch.

He's kind of like a spoiled child that way.

San Diego Padres closer and former Yankees teammate, David Wells seems to think he's an unrespectable bitch for doing so.

"I don't think I would ever do it because of the fact I personally think it would disrespect the team and your teammates," Wells said this week. "You look at the other players. How are they going to respect you? What are they going to think if you're not there pulling for the team?"
Future Hall of Fame pitcher Greg Maddux agreed with his teammate, saying he couldn't imagine doing something like that. Wells went on to say, "That's not the Yankee way. The Yankees have changed."

Roger Clemens is kinda tubby, huh?In case you've been in a coma, Clemens announced Sunday (from George Steinbrenner's box during the seventh inning stretch) that he would rejoin the Yankees next month. As obnoxious and annoying as that is, The Rocket has won seven Cy Young awards and has two World Series rings. The Yanks will pay about $26 million in salary and luxury tax for the one-year deal, but of course, Clemens claims that the money is not what brought him back.

Already using the proverbial "we" the Rocket described his intentions as wanting to get the great city of New York another Championship, "You're talking seven long years that we haven't been in the winners' circle."

In a very Brett Favre-esque manor, when asked whether this would be his last season in baseball, Clemens smiled and declined to say.

For an extremely entertaining look at Boomer, including his words on the Rocket, check out the Extrapolater and company's Voodoo Sabermetrics of David Wells.

[ESPN] | [] | [Say What: The Rocket Edition] | [Lizzy's Rant]

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Under The Bleachers

A Roger Clemens interview

Sooze: Roger --

Roger Clemens: Please. Call me Rocket.

Sooze: Rocket. I gotta tell ya, I'm not a big fan. I think you're pretty much full of crap.

Rocket: I think I'm awesome, but let's just agree to disagree.

Lizzy: Let's start with the burning question that everyone wants an answer to. Where will you play this season?

Rocket: Ya know, everybody kind of perceives me as being angry. It's not anger, it's motivation.

Sooze: That's very insightful. Do you think you'll motivate your way to New York this season? Or will you keep that intensity in Houston?

Rocket: I am intense, no question about it. Every time I toe the rubber, it's no different for me than if it was in the World Series.

Lizzy: Your son, Koby, is in the Astros minor league system. When he makes it up to the majors, do you think you'll still be playing at this level?

Rocket: You know how hard I work during my off days? My only day off is the day I pitch.

Sooze: That's pretty hard.

Rocket: Yeah. Told you I was awesome.

Sooze: I thought we agreed you'd be honest with us... but you keep saying that you're "awesome".

Rocket: Can you pitch at the major league level, young lady? I don't see a World Series ring on that finger. (shoves nearby cameraman)

Lizzy: That was uncalled for, Roger. Besides, that's Randy Johnson's move. And Kenny Rogers'.

Rocket: He called me fat.

Disgruntled Cameraman: Yeah well, the truth hurts, Rain Man!

Rocket: That's Rocket Man, as the title of my autobiography clearly states. (hands a signed copy to Lizzy)

Lizzy: Sweet... So, are you ever going to retire, or what?

Rocket: Yeah, probably until June or so. Then we'll see what happens. For now, I'm thinking about starting up my own blog. I'm gonna call it "What's In Rocket's Pocket".

Sooze: Interesting.

Rocket: Go ahead, ask me what's in my pocket.

Sooze: No, that's okay.

Rocket: Really. Ask me. C'mon.

Lizzy: (sighs) What's in your pocket?

Rocket: (pulls hand out of pocket to flip the bird)

Sooze: Very nice.

Rocket: (falls over in a fit of laughter)

Lizzy: Hmm. Speaking of things that are hilarious, I understand your wife, Debbie, has made quite the name for herself with her Bedazzling website. Lots of butterflies, creepy music and plastic rhinestones for denim hats and jean jackets.

Rocket: Yeah, those things are AMAZING! I wanted her to bedazzle my glove, but she said my teammates would just make fun of me.

Sooze: Probably.

Rocket: She bedazzles my name onto the front of my underwear, instead. Bling, Bling.

Sooze: Thanks, Rocket. That's probably more than enough info. See you in New York this summer.

Rocket: Yep, see you there. I mean... we'll see where I end up. If I decide to pitch. Blah blah family blah blah priorities blah blah bedazzling.

[Roger Clemens Bio] | [debbieclemens.com]

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The Ever-Elusive Roger Clemens

In a possible attempt to be manipulative and controlling, Roger Clemens still has no idea where he's going to play this season. And by this season, I mean whenever the hell he wants to come back. Maybe May. Maybe June. Maybe Houston. Maybe New York.

He hugged Joe Torre, spoke with George Steinbrenner and cheered for Andy Pettitte on Wednesday night while watching the Yankees play Cincinnati with his son, Koby. The Rocket posed for pictures, signed autographs and worked an inning on the Yankees' telecast, dancing around the burning question of whether or not he'll be playing this season, of course.

"To totally be honest, I hear everybody. I understand. It's very flattering," he boasted, "There's days where I'm excited about it, maybe I should try it, and then three days later I'm thinking that there's no way. I don't know that I can put my body through that again... It's a huge commitment because as you get older, you want to continue to be able to stay injury-free and still you have a high expectation of playing," he said.

The 44-year-old hurler has been down-playing any talk of playing in the majors this season, but says, "give me a call in early May, I'll have another decision to make." Who else does that? Who else has the luxury of saying, "Oh, just call me in May. Maybe I'll pitch for you then."

Clemens did say that if he does end up playing, it would definitely be for either his hometown Astros, the Red Sox or the Yankees. The seven-time Cy Young winner returned to the Astros last year for half a season, going 7-6 with a 2.30 ERA in 19 starts. He pitched for the Yankees from 1999-2003, enjoying two World Series championships with them before spending the last three years in Houston with his good pal, Andy Pettitte, who now works for New York.

Clemens has been staying in shape - some say even better shape than last year - occasionally pitching BP for the Astros' minor leaguers, where Koby plays. After Yankees newcomer Doug Mientkiewicz was hit by a pitch, Clemens joked with his son: last year, Koby homered off Roger in batting practice and the next time up, Clemens buzzed his own son.
"Next time he hits a home run and looks at it, he is going to get some color on it. Like I tell everybody, Mufasa is not going to give up the kingdom to Simba, just yet."

Sweet Disney reference, Rocket.

[New York Times]

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20 Percent Chance of Media Whorage in 2007

Roger Clemens announced today that there is a "20 percent chance that he will play in 2007." However, there is a 100 percent chance that he is an asshole. Clemens, clearly on his period and irritated that his name hadn't been in any papers in three days, apparently was working out with his son Koby and informed him that there wasn't a huge chance Rocket would return to the majors in 2007.

TANGENT WARNING: Roger Clemens has spent the last few seasons playing for the Astros, a sub-par NAAAtional League team. There is no argument that the majority of the better hitters in baseball are in the American League. Anyone remember Fat Roger's last season with the Yankees? Not so stellar. This Fat Bastard's ego is way too enormous to play for an American League team, because he will clearly suck. This charade of "will he, won't he" will continue well into the season, as ESPN has the dire need to constantly verbally felliate Roger whenever he takes a fucking shit. END TANGENT.

Stay tuned for constant ESPN coverage of Roger cutting his toenails as his fat 45-year-old juiced posterior.


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Roger Clemens is still not sure if he will be returning to baseball next season.

Source: Yahoo! Sports

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