Season Previews: Houston Astros

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: . Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Wrapping up our preview of the National League Central, get a load of the 2012 Houston Astros.

One more year then it's
Adios National League
Selig has spoken

Berkman misses you
But not enough to return
Replace Carlos Lee

Jordan Schafer likes
Ganja peanut butter cups
But then, who doesn't

Amen Bud Norris
We hate Brian Wilson too
So effing stupid

Jed Lowrie at short
Altuve's his dp pal
Matt Downs just in case

Right and left filled by
Brian Bogusevic and
J.D. Martinez

Forget about Cust
That ship has long since sailed
No more bombs from him

Wandy Rodriguez
Should try lasting more than six
That would be helpful

Brett Myers eyebrows
Like fat caterpillars with
A 4.00 ERA

Wesley's the only
Left-hander in the bullpen
He must feel special

We bet the Astros
Are super pumped up to move
To the other league

[] | [Ultimate Astros] | [Astros County]


MLB Ballparks said...

Well done. This Astros team looks like a AAA roster, not much different from last season.

Jeff Wise said...

I'm totally fine with this Astros lineup especially because they're moving to the American League next year. This means the Mariners might actually end up ahead of two teams in the standings!

Picks on Sports said...

No difference from last season....

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