Tony La Russa to Retire from Baseball and Save all the Puppies and Kitties

February 18: It snowed in the Sahara Desert for like a half hour.

April 1: The Pinwheel Network became Nickelodeon and began entertaining children everywhere.

July 1: The Sony Walkman went on sale for the first time in Japan.

The year was 1979, the same year attorney at law Tony La Russa managed his very first baseball game. The 67-year-old skipper, who has stepped down as manager of the St. Louis Cardinals and opted for retirement, began his managerial journey with the Chicago White Sox, where he remained until 1986 when he became manager of the Oakland Athletics. He led that club to three consecutive World Series from 1988 to 1990, sweeping an earthquake-delayed Fall Classic against the San Francisco Giants in '89. He stuck around Oakland until the 1995 season before moving to St. Louis to take over the Cardinals, where he has enjoyed two Championships.

La Russa, who has managed 5,097 games, ranks third in big league history in victories (2,728), trailing only the legendary Connie Mack and John McGraw. The man has been around longer than many of you have been alive. Oddly enough, he's the first manager to ever retire immediately after winning the World Series.

Now, the vegetarian and his wife Elaine will continue their quest to save all the puppies and kitties while they head up the Animal Rescue Foundation, a no-kill shelter based in Walnut Creek, California. Ah-dorable.

Happy trails, Tony. We'll miss your chicken legs, non-stop action in the bullpen, and winning ways.

[CNN]

David Freese is an Animal, St. Louis Cardinals are World Series Champions

World Series MVP David Freese gave credit to just about everyone but himself Friday night after his Cardinals came away with a 6-2 win over the Texas Rangers to bring their 11th Championship title back to St. Louis.

The 28-year-old thanked Albert Pujols for being a great teammate who helped put him on the right path back to success. He thanked Tony La Russa for being an over-managing mess excellent manager, and Mark McGwire for little hitting tips that came up big.

There's Always Next Year, Rangers Fans

After the most ridiculous Game 6 in the history of baseball forced the decisive Game 7 Friday night at Busch Stadium, the Texas Rangers were confident that they'd bring their first ever World Series Championship back home to Arlington. However, it looks like they're going to have to wait until next October... kinda like last season.

Leading the game for a whole half an inning, the Rangers never did catch up during their 6-2 Game 7 loss, scoring only once in the first inning on a Josh Hamilton RBI double. The National League Wild Card-winning Cardinals, who were 10 1/2 games out of contention in late August, have achieved what seemed impossible, with players like MVP David Freese and Allen Craig coming up big throughout the entire postseason to bring an 11th Championship to the city of St. Louis.

But enough about that incredible World Series ride and the guys who are going home Champions, let's have a look at the losers. In sad photo montage, of course...

Ron Washington Sends Matt Harrison to the Hill for Game 7 Against Chris Carpenter

The Texas Rangers were just one strike away from their first World Series Championship not once, but twice Thursday night in what ended up being one of the most exciting Fall Classic games in baseball history.

We can't really tell whether it was a Rangers bullpen meltdown, or a surging St. Louis Cardinals comeback, but either way the rally squirrel prevailed for an 11th-inning walkoff bomb by hometown boy David Freese for a 10-9 victory to force a Game 7 at Busch Stadium.

Adam Wainwright to Stick with the St. Louis Cardinals Two More Seasons

We feel pretty sad for Adam Wainwright. The poor guy just has to sit and watch his team complete a ridiculous rally during the regular season to make it to the playoffs as the National League Wild Card. Then, he has to watch them win the NLDS, the NLCS, and go through the World Series by the skin of their teeth. Game 6 might have been enough to make him cry. He was not a player, but a spectator through this entire roller coaster season.

But the news of the St. Louis Cardinals picking up his two-year contract option for 2012-13 must have made his day. The 30-year old right-hander, who won 20 games for St. Louis last season, is rehabbing from the Tommy John surgery he underwent back in February that sidelined him for the entire season. He threw his final bullpen session just before his team walked off to beat Texas in Game 6 of the World Series on Thursday.

That Was the Most Ridiculous Game 6 in the History of the World Series

Honestly. Five errors, 11 walks, utter confusion all over the field, and eventual bat brutality completed the Cardinals' 10-9 walkoff win over the Texas Rangers Thursday night in St. Louis to force Game 7 of the 2011 World Series.

Josh Hamilton, who was told by the Lord himself that he would hit a homer in the 10th inning, and his hernia were feeling pretty darn good about that extra-inning longball (about time) until things really started to heat up. This game was a complete shitshow until about the seventh inning. I literally could not stop laughing throughout the early to middle innings, but then things got real serious real quick and shut me the hell up. The game went from a total joke to one of the best games I've ever seen in my life.

Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer: Reunited and it Feels So Good

Not only did the Chicago Cubs smuggle Padres general manager Jed Hoyer out of San Diego, but they took his assistant with them as well.

Hoyer and his assistant Jason McLeod, who will become the new senior vice president of scouting and player development for the Cubs, have been planning on making their escape from the Padres ever since Hoyer's old pal Theo Epstein left the Boston Red Sox to become the president of baseball operations on the north side of the windy city. Apparently they love a challenge.

The Rangers are One Win Away from their First Ever World Series Bling

*Game 6 postponed until Thursday due to crappy weather*

Colby Lewis will have a shot at history during Game 6 of the World Series Wednesday Thursday night, when he takes the hill against St. Louis Cardinals lefty Jaime Garcia and his neatly-trimmed facial hair. Take note, Derek Holland.

Just won win away from their first World Series title ever, the Texas Rangers have one definitive plan: to more or less not pitch to Albert Pujols. Meanwhile, the wild card-winning Cardinals are back in familiar win-or-go-home territory in a tasty rematch from Game 2.

Minnesota Twins Decline Option on Joe Nathan, in the Market for a Closer Yet Again

After declining a $12.5 million option on Joe Nathan’s contract Tuesday afternoon and handing him a $2 million buyout, the Minnesota Twins are in the market for a closer. Again.

The right-handed closer was on the comeback trail from Tommy John surgery in 2011, but struggled to locate his fastball and slider, blowing a couple of saves to end last April with a 10.00 ERA. He was replaced by a carousel of closers, including free agent Matt Capps, who sucks at pitching, by the way.

Nathan, who will turn 37 next month, took the hill only for mop-up duty until he landed on the disabled list in May with recurring elbow soreness. He made a comeback in late June and took the struggling Capps' place in mid-July, blowing just three saves in 17 chances with a 4.84 second-half ERA. He holds the Twins all-time saves record with 260.

We've always loved Joe Nathan, as you can tell by this interview we did with him back in May of last season. We'll miss seeing him shut things down here in Minnesota if he doesn't get re-signed, as general manager Bill Smith has said the team would love to do... just not for $12.5 million.

[Star Tribune]

John Lackey and His 6.41 ERA to Undergo Tommy John Surgery

After enduring a rather rough season with the Boston Red Sox in which he apparently spent more time drinking beer and scarfing down fried chicken than improving his pitching, John Lackey will undergo reconstructive elbow surgery and miss the entire 2012 season.

The right-hander seriously sucked it up in 2011, ending the season with a 12-12 record and 6.41 ERA. If he wasn't in his second of a five-year, $82.5 million contract -- at the age of 33 no less -- he would totally be a free agent right about now.

Spankin' new general manager Ben Cherington had this to say regarding Lackey's terrible season:

"[Lackey] pitched through circumstances this year that I don’t think any of us in this room can fully understand, and he got beat up for it a little bit along the way. This guy was dealing with some stuff both on the field and off the field that were really difficult. I thought he showed tremendous toughness pitching through that.”

One of these difficult offseason circumstances Cherington eluded to may have been Lackey filing for divorce from his wife, who has breast cancer. Yikes.

The general rehabilitation period from Tommy John surgery is 12-18 months. While many pitchers come back as if they have shiny new robot arms, others never pitch well again. Guess we'll see how Lackey is affected by the surgery in 2013!

[NESN]

Bud Selig Would Like to See Replay Expanded Before he Falls Asleep/Retires

Bud Selig is open to new technology implemented in Major League Baseball, including the expansion of instant replay.

Maybe he can figure out a way to modernize the bullpen telephone as to not embarrass the management anymore. Just an idea.

Of course, reviewing every single close call would prolong the ballgames. People who aren't fans of baseball and are pissed off about not being able to watch The X Factor or whatever reality show they're into when games last the 3-3 1/2 hours they already do, are likely proponents of keeping the game the way it is.

Other folks, who'd rather not see their teams totally screwed by an umpire's bad decision, are probably all for the expansion of instant replay.

The Commissioner, who plans to retire when his contract runs out after the 2012 season, told ESPN Dallas 103.3 FM that baseball plans to "enlarge replay a little bit." He went on to say this:

"If you’re going to start replaying every controversial decision or every close call, I think that hurts the sport."

Tony La Russa Overmanages, Micromanages, Mismanages in Cardinals Game 5 Loss

With the World Series all evened up to a clean slate, tied at two games a-piece after Derek Holland's mustache took center stage in Game 4, the St. Louis Cardinals and Texas Rangers took to Game 5 with both of their aces on the hill.

Chris Carpenter lasted seven solid innings, surrendering just two runs on six hits with four strikeouts before reliever Octavio Dotel coughed up the eventual winning runs on a Mike Napoli two-run double in the eighth. Opposing pitcher C.J. Wilson tossed just over five innings with little control, walking five with two runs (one earned) on four hits. Four Rangers relievers combined for three hits to save the game and bring the series back to St. Louis with a one-game Texas lead after the 4-2 win.

We Want this Texas Rangers Grounds Crew Kid to Take us Out Dancing

In case you somehow missed this video of an absolutely adorable member of the Rangers Ballpark grounds crew randomly busting a move between the sixth and seventh innings of Game 4... please do enjoy. Ian Kinsler was not impressed, but we totally are. (Call me when you turn 18!)

Derek Holland, It's Been Fun but We Are Begging You to Shave

Texas Rangers left-hander Derek Holland threw 8.1 scoreless innings in Game 4 against the St. Louis Cardinals Sunday night to come away with a 4-0 victory and tie up the best-of-seven series at two games a-piece. He was razor sharp.

All while sporting that ridiculous mustache. Puberty is uncomfortable for everyone, especially when you're on National television.

Please... please shave it off. But please don't stop your Ron Washington impersonation.

Slumpbuster! Albert Pujols Goes Berserk, Hits Three Homers in 16-7 World Series Rout

Looks like somebody enjoyed a slump buster Friday night.

After grounding out in the first inning, Albert Pujols stepped up to the plate in the fourth and finally got a hit, nailing a single to shallow left field to finally bust out of an 0-7 World Series rut against the Texas Rangers Saturday night. The following inning, he hit another single to just about the same spot. With two on and nobody out in the sixth, he pounded a three-run shot to quiet the crowd and give the St. Louis Cardinals a two-run lead before hitting another homer worth two runs in the seventh.

Theo Epstein Officially Joins Cubs, Ben Cherington Likely Replacement in Boston

A guest post from our girl Muffin Top to support her new blogging endeavors.

An incredible run that included two World Series Championships (and three extra playoff berths via Wild Card) for the youngest ever general manager in baseball at the time ended on a sour note with fried chicken, beer bellies, and mayhem last month before Theo Epstein decided to abandon ship and head for Chicago.

Not sure it will be any smoother sailing in the windy city, but Theo Epstein is always up for a challenge... except that one time he quit his general manager job for five days upon sneaking out of Fenway Park disguised as a gorilla. We all do things we're not proud of.

Epstein, now 37, officially resigned from his position as Red Sox general manager Friday night and became the president of baseball operations for the Cubs. Of course, fans on the North Side are especially giddy, considering they haven't won a World Series since back in 1908. The one man who seems equipped for the job of bringing that end of the city their first Championship in over a century made it possible for Boston after an 86-year drought before they captured another ring three years later in 2007.

David Ortiz Wants to Stick Around Boston, Regardless of Red Sox Problems

All things considered, some big league players may not want to be associated with a team whose ridiculous September collapse has been blamed on drinking beers and eating fried chicken in the clubhouse. David Ortiz is not one of those players. Besides, it's not like they were the only team enjoying some rally beers.

After earning the highest honor a player can accomplish when he received the Roberto Clemente Award before Game 2 of the World Series on Thursday, Ortiz had this to say about his team's troubles:

“You guys know it all, already. I don’t have to add anything. I’m there every day, but I do what I’ve got to do. I have no more comment on that. You guys know it all.”

Eligible for free agency after the World Series, Ortiz batted .309 with 29 homers and 96 RBI this season. He said given the mess the team has found itself in -- the rumors, losing their general manager and banishing their skipper -- it’s a little too early to start talking about a new contract. In an interview with ESPN last month, Big Papi eluded to the idea he would play for the New York Yankees if given the chance. Not cool. However, he squashed that notion on Thursday:

“I never said that I would sign with the Yankees. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They asked me if I would play for the Yankees. I said I would think about it. But I didn’t confirm to nobody that I would play for the Yankees. I’m still a Red Sox, aren’t I?”

'A Red Sox'... we've always struggled with the possessive and singular of that team's name.

Wherever the soon-to-be 36-year-old designated hitter ends up in 2012, Commissioner Bud Selig surely has a lot he'd like to (and definitely will) say to the Sawx organization after the Fall Classic ends.

[Boston Herald]

World Series Heads to Arlington All Tied Up After Rangers' Ninth Inning Rally

Down to their last three outs and facing another World Series loss, the Texas Rangers hooked up some smart base-running and timely hitting to tie the series at a game a-piece with a 2-1 win over the St. Louis Cardinals Thursday night.

Allen Craig once again hit the go-ahead single, this time in the seventh, to give the Cardinals a one-run lead that lasted a whole inning. We totally knew they were gonna blow it as soon as Ian Kinsler dropped a base hit off closer Jason Motte into shallow center field over the head of Rafael Furcal and out of the reach of Matt Holliday in the top of the ninth. Those circus acts always result in at least a run or two.

Roger Clemens, Jason Giambi Also Pounded Beers! This Story Won't Go Away

Since this story won't seem to go away, we're gonna go ahead and join in the fun.

According to the New York Daily News, chronic douches Rogers Clemens and Jason Giambi have joined in the debauchery, as reports have surfaced that they, too, drank beer in the dugout and clubhouse during games. You know, back when they were relevant.

So yes. It turns out the Boston Red Sox aren't the only team to have participated in "rally beers" -- a term coined by another player we rabidly dislike, A.J. Pierzynski.

Yankees clubhouse insiders claim that Giambi and Clemens would pass brewskis disguised as a "protein shake" back and forth on the bench during games on a routine basis. Funny, that's not the first interest they've shared. Now they get to share a shoddy reputation... as if either of them had a shining one in the first place.

[Courtesy of Larry Brown Sports]

Rangers Meet Lance Berkman and Allen Craig, Drop World Series Game 1 to Cardinals

Chris Carpenter came up big over six solid innings Wednesday night -- including a nice diving defensive play in the first for which Elvis Adrus deserves a thank you gift for not crushing the pitcher's right hand -- to help his St. Louis Cardinals earn a 3-2 victory over the Texas Rangers in Game 1 of the World Series.

After three scoreless innings pitched by both Carpenter and C.J. Wilson, it was looking like quite the pitcher's duel. But with Matt Holliday on second after a double that moved Albert Pujols to third after being hit by a pitch to lead off the fourth, Lance Berkman nailed an RBI single to give the Cardinals an early 2-0 lead.

C.J. Wilson Meets Chris Carpenter for Game 1 of the World Series

Oh my gosh it's World Series time. Finally. Those two days without baseball sucked.

C.J. Wilson and the Texas Rangers are already in St. Louis getting all geared up for Game 1 against Chris Carpenter and the Cardinals tonight at 8:05pm ET on FOX.

You know, something about C.J. bothers me. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I never have trusted a man who doesn't drink. However, I might change my mind and give him the benefit of the doubt if he pitches a 1-0 shutout and one of his teammates rips his jersey off.

With the Brewers Offseason Officially Underway, What Will Prince Fielder Do?

Now that the Milwaukee Brewers offseason is officially underway, the biggest question surrounding the team this winter is what the hell is going to happen with Prince Fielder.

After a franchise-record 96 wins during the regular and the team's first League Championship appearance in nearly three decades, there's an unresolved issue now that the husky first baseman is a free agent. Don't think it will be taken care of anytime soon either, since these types of things aren't to be discussed during the World Series.

Fielder batted .299 with 38 homers and 120 RBI this season, even stealing a base on time. Throughout the postseason, the lefty hit three bombs and two doubles to help keep the Brewers alive until the St. Louis Cardinals took them out.

Of course, the first question asked by the media after Milwaukee's Game 6 defeat was whether or not he was going to stick around. While Fielder didn't care to respond, principal owner Mark Attanasio has made it clear the team will make a sizable offer in order for him to return to the only organization he’s been with since being drafted back in 2002. Hopefully they can afford him.

After signing a record solo-year deal for an arbitration-eligible player in January, Fielder made $15.55 million this season, including a $50,000 bonus for starting in the All-Star game. The organization has locked up their other young stars, including Ryan Braun through 2020, Rickie Weeks and Yovani Gallardo through at least 2014, and Corey Hart through 2013.

The Rangers are Headed to St. Louis to take on the Cardinals in the World Series

At last, the Rally Claw meets the Rally Squirrel. Wonder who would win in a bench-clearing brawl...

The Texas Rangers didn't have to wait very long to see who they'd end up facing in the 2011 World Series. Just a day after they beat the Detroit Tigers to punch their ticket to the Fall Classic, the St. Louis Cardinals emerged victorious in Game 6 to send the Milwaukee Brewers packing for the offseason.

This matchup is going to be pretty awesome, pitting All-Star sluggers Josh Hamilton against Albert Pujols, while guys like Nelson Cruz and David Freese have become household names as Championship Series MVP's. Then there's the relief corps, which can clearly handle just about any task put in their paths as the starters from both sides have been less than reliable recently.

There's Always Next Year, Brewers Fans

The St. Louis Cardinals won Game 6 of the National League Championship Series Sunday night to bring their 18th pennant home and punch their ticket to their World Series for the first time since 2006 when they won it all.

After rallying from a 10 1/2-game deficit at the end of August, the Cards played their asses off to earn the Wild Card before defying the odds and beating the Philadelphia Phillies in the NLDS. It took them six exciting games, but they tossed the Milwaukee Brewers out of the postseason to make it to the Fall Classic and take on the American League Champion Texas Rangers.

Meanwhile, Tony Hush, Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder, and the rest of the Brewers will disperse to their offseason homes. Where the free agent Fielder will go, no one is quite sure. Speaking of sad things, here is the Brew Crew's farewell to a fantastic season. In unfortunate photo montage...

There's Always Next Year, Tigers Fans

The Detroit Tigers' season is over after an embarrassing Game 6 effort in Arlington in which they lost 15-5 to the American League Champion Texas Rangers.

Thanks in large part to a nine-run third inning by Max Scherzer, Daniel Schlereth, and Rick Porcello, the Motor City Kitties hung their heads and watched the red and blue confetti fly throughout Rangers Ballpark Saturday night. But enough about the game, let's see the Tigers off with a bang, in sad photo montage, of course.

Texas Rangers Win American League Pennant, Nelson Cruz Earns Series MVP

The world of baseball has never seen anything like what Nelson Cruz displayed over the entire American League Championship Series. In fact, over the 142-year history of Major League Baseball, no one had ever topped his performance.

After a terrible ALDS in which he went 1-for-12 with five strikeouts, Cruz absolutely lit up both ballparks, hitting .364 with a big league-record six home runs and 13 RBI in the ALCS. The guy was completely out of control.

Meanwhile, we can't decide whether the Rangers embarrassed the Detroit Tigers or the Tigers embarrassed themselves. Between an incredible display of incompetence on the field and a lack of timing and finesse at the plate, they were crushed 15-5 and sent packing for the offseason Saturday night.

Behold, Your 2011 Comeback Players of the Year: Jacoby Ellsbury and Lance Berkman

The 2011 Comeback Players of the year have officially been awarded to Jacoby Ellsbury and Lance Berkman.

After struggling through an injury-plagued 2010 season, the 35-year-old Berkman has gotten back on track and helped to bring his Wild-Card winning St. Louis Cardinals deep into the postseason. The switch-hitting outfielder batted .301 with 31 homers and 94 RBI to win the National League award. After dropping 20 pounds over the offseason, Fat Elvis ranked in the top 10 in the NL in homers, walks (92), slugging percentage .547) and on-base percentage (.412) this season. Way to go, buddy.

It wasn't that tough for Ellsbury, the recipient of the American League honors, to earn the comeback award. He participated in just 18 games last season due to injuries and hit only .192. However, he did set career highs with the Boston Red Sox in most of the offensive categories this year, batting .321 with 32 bombs, 105 RBI, 46 doubles, five triples, 119 runs scored, and 39 stolen bases. That's 30-30 baby.

The 28-year-old outfielder became the first Boston player to hit 30 homers and steal 30 bases in a season, but unfortunately his Red Sox totally blew it in September and failed miserably at joining the fun in October.

[ESPN]

Randy Wolf Pitches Brewers Past Cardinals in Game 4 to Tie Up NLDS

Randy Wolf did a hell of a job Thursday evening keeping his Milwaukee Brewers in the game, helping to tie up the series and force the National League pennant to eventually be decided at Miller Park.

The 35-year-old lefty went seven solid innings in Game 4, surrendering just two runs on seven hits with a walk and six strikeouts in his team's 4-2 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals. Pretty sure Wolf, who also nailed a double in the third, was excited to end his embarrassing drought of 342 starts without a playoff victory, which was the most among active pitchers. It's a good thing too, because he didn't take his last loss very well:

“You know, I’ll be honest with you, the day after the Diamondbacks start I didn’t eat or shower. I don’t know if they call that depression, but it was tough to swallow."

Now losing St. Louis pitcher Kyle Lohse moves to second on that crappy list with 298 starts, trailing only Ted Lilly’s 318. Speaking of skids, Game 4 marks the Brewers' first road win of the playoffs and their first postseason victory since Game 1 of the 1982 World Series, also in St. Louis... Some of you weren't even born yet.

Matt Holliday gave the Cardinals an early 1-0 lead with a solo shot in the second before Allen Craig added a homer the following inning. The Brewers answered with a two-run fourth to knot it back up when Prince Fielder scored on Jerry Hairston, Jr.'s RBI double and Yuniesky Betancourt drove him home with a shallow base hit to center. Ryan Braun, who now owns a .471 batting average after going 16-for-34 this postseason, brought Nyjer Morgan in on a blooper to left in the fifth before Rickie Weeks scored on a fielding error by Ryan Theriot to complete the scoring.

Wolf tossed 107 pitches before Francisco Rodriguez pitched the scoreless eighth and closer John Axford came in for the save to bring the best-of-seven series even at 2-2.

The two sides will play one more game at Busch Stadium (where the families of Brewers players will be seated God knows where) at 8:05pm ET Friday night on TBS before the series moves back to Milwaukee. Jaime Garcia will face Zack Greinke for the second time this series, the last being Game 1 in which Greinke managed to get the 9-6 win even though he didn't pitch all that well.

[Brew Crew Ball]

Tigers Force Game 6 with Win over Rangers, Series Headed back to Arlington

What an awesome series so far.

Justin Verlander did his best over seven-plus innings Thursday night to keep the Detroit Tigers in the game. Meanwhile, the offense was behind him all the way and extended the series with a 7-5 win over the Texas Rangers to cut the Texas lead to 3-2 in the best-of-seven series and shift the contest back to Arlington.

The Tigers managed to use a little teamwork to hit for the cycle during the sixth inning. In order. Ryan Raburn got on base with the single, Miguel Cabrera took care of the double, Victor Martinez nailed the triple, and Delmon Young crushed a two-run shot (his second of the game) to cap the deal and give Detroit a 6-2 lead. History was made during this series once again, as it became the first natural cycle ever to happen in the postseason.

Speaking of records, Nelson Cruz and his Boomstick hit a ridiculous fifth home run of the series, becoming the fifth player in history to do so, in the top of the eighth to bring the Rangers within three. They added another run on a Michael Young base hit in the ninth to make it 7-5, but the Tigers held on for the victory, even without Jose Valverde to shut it down.

Phil Coke got the final five outs for his first career postseason save. Way to go, buddy.

The Rangers will get another shot at punching their ticket to the World Series for the second straight season in Game 6 Saturday night in Texas. Derek Holland and Max Scherzer, both of whom have failed to get a decision this postseason, will face each other at 8:05pm ET on FOX.

[Detroit Free Press]

Leave it to a $161 Million Payroll to Try and Steal the Postseason Thunder

In case you missed it, the Boston Red Sox epic collapse is still in motion. Leave it to a $161 million payroll to try and steal the thunder of the playoffs. I mean, would you look at that? They didn't even make the playoffs, yet here we are talking about them.

From Bob Hohler of the Boston Globe:

"How a team that was on pace in late August to win 100 games and contend for its third World Series title in seven years self-destructed is a story of disunity, disloyalty, and dysfunction like few others in franchise history."

Good point, I suppose. It all started with them losing a crap-ton of games during the final month of the season. In fact, they failed to put together any sort of winning streak, never winning more than one game in a row in the whole month of September. Total failure.

Terry Francona, living in a hotel all season while in the middle of a separation from his wife, was "let go" as Boston refused to pick up his 2012 contract option. However, he kept his head up and did color commentary, surviving the voice of Joe Buck during the first two games of the ALCS. We're proud of him.

General Manager Theo Epstein was the next to go, taking the vacant position of Chicago Cubs GM for $15 million over the next five seasons. Obviously, he's planning on ending their 102-year Championship drought.

Nyjer Morgan Calls Family Seating Incident in St. Louis "Bush League"

As the NLCS Turns...

Just when we thought that perhaps the bitter rivalry between the St. Louis Cardinals and Milwaukee Brewers was simmering down a little bit, we get the news of the unfortunate FAMILY SEATING INCIDENT.

The Brewers were super pissed when they showed up at Busch Stadium on Wednesday to discover that the 350 tickets allotted to their family members for the three NLCS games in St. Louis were not exactly where they supposed to be.

The entire bunch were supposed to be seated in an awesome party suite, but only 200 tickets were designated for that area with the other 150 scattered throughout the ballpark. This, just a day after Tony La Russa in his perpetual bitch mode filed an official complaint regarding Miller Park's scoreboard. We're not even going to get into that whole ordeal, because it's dumb as hell, but you can read more about it here.

Nyjer Morgan, the main instigator of this particular rivalry, had this to say:

"You know I think it's bush [league]. Our families, they've got to be secured. It's kind of garbage. We put their [families] in a secure section and then they want to spread ours out. I don't know why they play the mental games, but that right there, they shouldn't play the games right there because that's our family and our family has got to be secure. But that's just them, that's how they operate right there I guess."

Bush league... like plowing into catchers at the plate when there's clearly no play being made? Or charging the mound after you lose your temper? Or talking shit just because you struck out? We all know what they say about opinions.

We do think it's worth noting, however, that the families of St. Louis players were all seated behind home plate within the safety of the net while in Milwaukee, and the family members of the Philadelphia Phillies players were given the same courtesy at Busch Stadium during the NLDS...

Game 4 is all set for 8:05pm ET on TBS. Enjoy.

[ESPN]

Mark Kotsay Face-Plants, Cardinals Beat Brewers in NLCS Game 3

Chris Carpenter was far from his best Wednesday night, lasting just five innings in his St. Louis Cardinals 4-3 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers in Game 3 of their National League Division Series at Busch Stadium.

While Carpenter surrendered all three Milwaukee runs on six hits and three walks, the relief corps came up big. Fernando Salas, Game 2-winning rookie Lance Lynn, Marc Rzepczynski and closer Jason Motte, who struck out three of the four batters he faced for the save, combined to bail out the Cardinals and retire the final 12 Brewers in order. Sadly, none of their jerseys were torn off and shredded to pieces by Nick Punto.

Nelson Cruz Busts out Trusty Boomstick, Mike Napoli Aids in Rangers Game 4 Win

The Texas Rangers are one win away from their second consecutive World Series appearance.

Nelson Cruz, whose grand slam in the 11th inning won Game 2 for his Texas Rangers, was the star of Game 4 once again Wednesday night in his team's 7-3 victory over the Detroit Tigers to give them a 3-1 advantage in the best-of-seven series.

With the ballgame all tied up in the eighth inning, Cruz threw Miguel Cabrera out at the plate with a pretty throw to his partner in crime Mike Napoli, who was luckily not absolutely clobbered by the husky Cabrera. As if that wasn't badass enough, the outfielder followed up the leather-flashing, arm cannon action with a three-run shot (his fourth homer of the ALCS) in the 11th off Jose Valverde, who just so happened to be right in the middle of imploding, immediately after Napoli blooped a go-ahead single.

Bud Norris Calls Out Brian Wilson for Stupid Taco Bell Commercial

Houston Astros pitcher Bud Norris, who has reason enough to dislike Brian Wilson's antics (his team sucks and Wilson pitches for an NL rival who totally won the World Series last season) has called out the San Francisco Giants closer on Twitter.

Norris made it clear in English and Spanish that he has nothing against B-Weezy or whatever he calls himself these days, but that his commercials pretty much suck. We tend to agree wholeheartedly. Maybe he can call out Joe Mauer next... he can choose from ads such as Head & Shoulders, Gatorade, Pepsi, Kemps, and of course, Sony Playstion.

Theo Epstein Leaves Boston to Heal the Chicago Cubs

Someone slipped a juicy rumor to the Associated Press Tuesday night: Boston Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein is definitely headed to the Windy City to take over the Chicago Cubs organization.

Turns out it's more than just a rumor, as WEEI Sports Radio reported Wednesday morning that Theo has signed a five-year deal worth roughly $15 million, which is expected to be finalized by the end of the week. Maybe he'll invite Terry Francona to join him, cause Mike Quade is not exactly getting the job done.

The Cubs fired general manager Jim Hendry back in August and managed to avoid a 100-loss season with a 71-91 record. While the Red Sox missed the postseason following the most embarrassing collapse in big league history in which they failed to win back-to-back games at any point in the month of September, the Cubs haven't won a World Series since 1908. Both sucky scenarios.

Doug Fister Hurls Tigers Past Rangers in ALCS Game 3

After dropping the first two games of the American League Championship Series in Arlington, the banged-up Detroit Tigers absolutely had to win Game 3, and Doug Fister gave them a chance to do that. It wasn't exactly a must-win situation, but only the Boston Red Sox have come back from a 3-0 deficit to force a Game 7. They managed to win the 2004 World Series that year, but it's not the recommended way of doing things.

The right-hander with a bad case of hat-head was about as cool as the other side of the pillow in the huge Game 3, pitching 7.1 solid innings Tuesday night where he allowed just two runs on seven hits to aid in his team's 5-2 victory over the Texas Rangers. Fister loves pitching at Comerica Park. He's an incredible 5-0 with an 1.23 ERA at home... pretty much unhittable.

Meanwhile, Rangers starter Colby Lewis suffered his very first postseason loss after entering the game with a career 4-0 record and 1.67 ERA in the playoffs. It was a good run.

Josh Hamilton drove in a first inning run to give Texas an early lead, but the Tigers tied it up on a Victor Martinez lead-off solo shot in the bottom of the fourth. The following inning, Miguel Cabrera said "Hold your horses, Rangers," when he hit an RBI double to the right field corner to give Detroit a 2-1 edge.

Jhonny Peralta nailed one into the Tigers bullpen in the sixth before Austin Jackson, who had three hits in the game after going 3-for-25 with 14 strikeouts over the first seven postseason contests, blooped a run-scoring single to center. Cabrera, who struggled through the first few innings, crushed a longball to left in the seventh to make it 5-1.

Nelson Cruz Does it Again, First Ever Walkoff Grand Slam in Postseason History

Are you joking me Nelson Cruz?

Just two innings after it appeared his wrist was shattered into a million pieces by a 92-mph Jose Valverde fastball in the ninth, the Texas Rangers outfielder took advantage of a second consecutive Ryan Perry slider to give his team a 2-0 advantage in the best-of-seven ALCS with a 7-3 victory over the Detroit Tigers in 11 innings.

What's more amazing than that? Not only did he go yard to tie it up at 3 runs-a piece in the seventh inning and kick opposing starter Max Scherzer off the hill, but his extra-inning, walkoff grand slam marked the first in the history of ever.

To clarify, it's only technically the first walkoff grand slam in MLB playoff history. Back in 1993, Robin Ventura hit one during the 1999 NLCS for the Mets, but he was so busy celebrating the victory, he failed to touch home plate and was credited with a Grand Slam Single. In his defense, however, his stupid teammates carried him off the field before he had a chance to score. (Details, Schmetails.) God, we went from talking about Ventura pretty much never to mentioning him like three times in a week. I'm sure we'll have a lot more to make fun of him for to talk about regarding his White Sox managing adventure in 2012.

Albert Pujols, Cardinals Tie up NLCS in 12-3 Rout of Brewers

“Sometimes, you’re going to get spanked a little bit.” - Nyjer Morgan

Thanks to five RBI by Albert Pujols and some additional run support from guys like David Freese and Nick Punto, the St. Louis Cardinals evened up the National League Championship Series at a game a-piece with a 12-3 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers Monday night.

After producing just one run in his team's first six postseason games this year, Pujols went 4-for-5 with a home run and three doubles to power St. Louis past Milwaukee. That must have felt pretty good after screwing up royally during Game 1 when he hit into a broken-bat double play representing the tying run in the seventh.

Rickie Weeks nailed a two-run shot in the fourth and Ryan Braun went 2-for-4, but failed to drive in any runs. Prince Fielder did his part with a solo shot in the bottom of the eighth, but unfortunately for the Brew Crew, it was too little, too late. Nyjer Morgan and all of his trash-talk is 0-for-4 against the Cards so far this round.

Both bullpens got a lot of work in after both starters were chased in the fourth inning. Milwaukee’s Shaun Marcum looked just plain ugly out there, coughing up five runs on seven hits and taking the loss. St. Louis starter Edwin Jackson surrendered the Weeks homer along with seven hits and a walk before his exit in the fourth.

The Cards are headed home for Game 3 Wednesday evening with ace Chris Carpenter on the hill against Yovani Gallardo at 8:05pm ET on TBS.

[USA Today]

Brewers Sport their Rally Caps, Beat Cardinals in NLCS Opener

It's pretty amazing the way Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder can turn a game around.

The Milwaukee Brewers rallied in the fifth inning of NLCS Game 1 against their bitter division rivals with huge back-to-back hits by Braun and Fielder to come away with a 9-6 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals.

Braun launched a 463-foot, two-run bomb in the first inning before adding a two-run double during the huge six-run fifth. Fielder followed up with a homer worth two runs before Yuniesky Betancourt capped the comeback with a two-run shot of his own.

While we were honestly hoping for a few plunkings, maybe a bench-clearing brawl, and definitely some more smack-talk from the two sides, all we got was a small stir-up and an umpire's warning to Tony La Russa after Jaime Garcia hit Fielder immediately after Braun's first inning longball.

Brewers ace Zack Greinke, who made some awkward comments regarding Chris Carpenter and his "phony attitude" on Saturday, hinted that there may have been some heckling coming from the opposing dugout on Sunday:

Magglio Ordonez Out of Commission, Delmon Young Returns

Unfortunately for Magglio Ordonez, he will miss all the fun and excitement that comes with the rest of whatever playoffs lay ahead for his Detroit Tigers, whose outfielders are dropping like flies.

Ordonez fractured his right ankle some time during Game 1 of the American League Championship Series on Saturday, exiting in the top of the fifth inning when he drew a walk between rain delays before being replaced by a pinch-runner.

Will the Brewers and Cardinals Go all Bush League on Each Other in the NLCS?

Remember back in August 2010 when then-Washington Nationals outfielder Nyjer Morgan was rounding the bases in a game against the St. Louis Cardinals and smashed into catcher Bryan Anderson for no good reason as he crossed the plate? I say for no good reason because he scored standing up and there was no attempt at a play. Not very nice, and I'm pretty sure Cardinals fans didn't forget about that move. In a totally unrelated incident a few days later, Morgan went berserk during the entire series against the Florida Marlins. He separated Brett Hayes' shoulder on a hard play at the plate during one game before charging the mound and taking a swing at Chris Volstad the next night. Yikes.

Fast forward to a year later on August 1, 2011 and Morgan is now enjoying an exciting season with the Milwaukee Brewers, who are holding a two-game lead on the Cardinals. He's just nailed a three-run double to center field off Chris Carpenter, whose abs we'd like to wash our laundry on. Of course, Morgan gets a little excited and maybe a little cocky and does this fist-pumpy thing directly at the Cardinals' dugout. Hilarious, but not cool. Also not cool? Tony La Russa accusing the folks at Miller Park of altering the stadium's lighting to give the opposition a disadvantage. Give me a break.

Nelson Cruz Busts Out His Boomstick, Rangers Beat Tigers in Game 1

After not one, but two rain delays added nearly two hours to the game Saturday night, the Texas Rangers came away with a 3-2 victory over the Detroit Tigers in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series.

David Murphy hit an RBI triple in the second inning and scored on an Ian Kinsler base hit to give the Rangers an early 2-0 lead before Nelson Cruz busted out his boomstick. The outfielder led off the fourth with a solo shot, taking Justin Verlander deep on an 0-2 fastball which turned out to be the deciding factor in his team's win. Good for Cruz too, cause he was in quite a slump so far throughout the postseason, sporting an .067 batting average entering the series.

Rangers starter C.J. Wilson had a rather rough outing, lasting just 4.2 innings. The lefty walked five and coughed up two runs, including one a wild pitch that scored a run between rain delays. However, the relief corps cleaned up the mess and stomped the Tigers' rally. Five Texas relievers combined for eight strikeouts, with only Neftali Feliz allowing a hit while getting clocked at 101 mph for his fourth postseason save.

I suppose Detroit's loss could be partly attributed to the absence of Delmon Young -- we swear that's an impostor -- who batted .316 with three homers against the New York Yankees in the ALDS before suffering an oblique injury during Game 5. The left fielder now has to watch the best-of-seven series from the bench.

Game 2 is set for Monday night at 4:19pm ET on FOX with Derek Holland starting for the Rangers against Tigers right-hander Max Scherzer. The contest was postponed a day since  there was a 60 percent chance of rain over the Arlington area just before Sunday's game time.

[SB Nation]

There's Always Next Year, Phillies Fans

ONE HUNDRED AND TWO REGULAR SEASON VICTORIES. ONE GIANT FAILURE.

The one game the Philadelphia Phillies needed to win -- Game 5 of the National League Division Series against the Wild Card-winning St. Louis Cardinals Friday night -- they lost 1-0 thanks to Chris Carpenter's rocket arm and a Skip Schumaker RBI.

Carpenter was lights out all night long, allowing only three hits with three strikeouts. Meanwhile, Roy Halladay pitched his little heart out, surrendering just the one run on six hits with seven Ks over eight solid innings. Not quite phucking solid enough though.

But enough about that incredible pitcher's duel. Highlighting this season's fourth edition of There's Always Next Year, let's see the Phillies off with a bang into their long, long offseason. In sad photo montage.

NLDS Game 5: Chris Carpenter 1, Philadelphia Phillies 0

Let the keyword searches for "Shirtless Chris Carpenter" commence. (Thank you Nick Punto). It's amazing what seeing a man's abs can do for a girl...as if tossing a three-hit, complete game shutout to carry your team to the National League Championship Series in a must-win Game 5 isn't sexy enough.

Carpenter was out of control. Lights out. In command. Determined to pitch that entire game, and probably thrilled as hell that his teammates managed even one run off his offseason fishing buddy Roy Halladay.

There's Always Next Year, Diamondbacks Fans

Welcome to this season's third edition of There's Always Next Year, starring the Arizona Diamondbacks!

Nyjer Morgan is T-Clutch, which he prefers to be called when he is kicking ass, taking names, and driving in walkoff runs to advance his team to the National League Championship Series. The Brewers advanced Friday night and sent the Diamondbacks packing for the offseason in the 10th inning of their 3-2 walkoff victory, with Carlos Gomez absolutely cruising around the horn to score the winning run off Morgan's base hit.

But enough about the game and how awesome it was. Let's continue on with the Snakes' obituary... in sad photo montage.

There's Always Next Year, Yankees Fans

Moving right along with this season's second edition of There's Always Next Year...

The Detroit Tigers are headed to the American League Championship Series for the first time since 2006 after scraping past the New York Yankees 3-2 Thursday night with an exciting Game 5 victory in the Bronx.

The Texas Rangers, who advanced to the ALCS on Tuesday after taking three of four Division Series games over the Tampa Bay Rays, were ready and waiting and probably didn't give a crap who they faced in the end, as long as they get another shot at the World Series.

But enough about the winners. Let's have an emotional look at the losers. In sad photo montage, of course.

Robin Ventura Shakes Headlock, Takes a Stab at Managing White Sox

Robin Ventura, best know for getting his ass beat by Nolan Ryan (I swear that will be on this poor sap's tombstone) has taken Ozzie Guillen's job as skipper of the South Siders.

The former White Sox third baseman joined the team this summer as a "special adviser" to director of player development Buddy Bell, which is apparently a lot like managing a ball club. Fun fact: Ventura has never so much as managed a little little league team in his entire life... Oh well.

The White Sox don't seem to care about this minor detail, however. They just had to snag him up before another club did. You know, one who preferred a skipper with zero credentials. Besides, they had to get a name out there that someone recognized so the world would'nt realize that no one wants to be in charge of that mess, let alone listen to Ken Williams babble on and on.

Big Time Timmy Jim Lincecum Sued for Being a Lazyass Stoner Party Animal

We've all had one of those roommates.

You know, the ones who use every dish in the house before washing any until they're eating cereal off a plate with a spatula. The kind who accidentally bust the window frame while trying to break in because they forgot their car keys in the bathroom, or knock the bong over while it's sitting on the stove and then never clean up the rancid water between the oven and the fridge so it permanently smells like ass in the kitchen...

Maybe you are that guy. Tim Lincecum totally is. Allegedly.

The Giants ace was sued Wednesday in the San Francisco Superior Court by former landlord, Mindy Freile, for allegedly causing $350,000 worth of damage to a furnished Mission District apartment that he rented. And it's not like he just left the place kind of messy.

No, no, it was [allegedly] a complete disaster. Freile claims Lincecum damaged "the bedding, doors, carpet, pillows, kitchenware, linens, furniture, lights, artwork, decorations, patio furniture, appliances and mirrors, among other things."

For crying out loud, Little Timmy. We know you like to party, but how could a mild-mannered two-time Cy Young Award winner like yourself ruin all that apparently very expensive crap? A killer party, bro. That's how.

[Huff Post San Francisco]

We are Going to Help You Plan Your Next Trip to the Ballpark

Ever wonder which big league ballpark has the cheapest beer? How about the most expensive? Of course you have. These details determine how booze much you will consume before entering the stadium. Personally, we've never been to a major league establishment that offers them for under $6.50 a piece, so we tailgate pretty hard.

(I once paid $12.50 for a 6 oz. Bloody Mary at Target Field. When I figured out that not only was it not going to change my life, it would taste like shit and give me heart burn, I was none too pleased with myself. Live and learn, I suppose.)

Do you often consider the economic relativity of attending a baseball game in certain cities? We know you've contemplated how many gallons of delicious, ice cold, overpriced beers are pounded at ballgames each season. For Pete's sake, knowing all of these answers is an absolute must in order to maximize your baseball-watching enjoyment.

Mike Donghia has puzzled over each of these questions and more. Obviously, what better thing to do with all of this information than to compile it into an attractive-looking infograph! The only thing that would make this more awesome is a power-point slide show to Eye of the Tiger elevator music.