Welcome to the Ben Zobrist Show

Ben Zobrist met his RBI quota all in a day's work for the Tampa Bay Rays Thursday.

During a day-night double header at Target Field against the Minnesota Twins, the second baseman went 7-for-10 with two home runs and three doubles. He set a club record with eight RBI in the opener, nailing a bomb and two doubles.

That's 10 runs batted in over two games. Meanwhile, Twins third baseman Danny Valencia leads his entire team with 11 on the season. Awesome.

Zobrist, who's now driven in 25 runs so far this year, had this to say about his ridiculous day at the plate:

"I really had no idea what was happening. I just was kind of in the zone. Just trying not to think about it too much. I just felt real comfortable, obviously, in the box."

The Rays swept the rain-delayed three-game series, outscoring the Twins 29-6. They've won five straight now, and 12 of 15 after a horrid 1-8 start.

[Sweet Spot]

Ozzie Guillen Tweets Himself into a Corner

For the most part, Ozzie Guillen's tweets don't make any sense. Even if you are bilingual. Of course, that doesn't make them any less entertaining.

However, Major League Baseball is looking into any rules the Chicago White Sox manager may have broken by making derogatory comments about an umpire via Twitter after being ejected.

Lost in the Oakland Athletics Youtube World

So we've decided to make a Lost in the Youtubes Series out of different teams' 2011 commercials, since it's still pretty early in the season. We kicked things off last week with the San Francisco Giants, so it makes sense to stick around the Bay Area and bust out some of the Oakland Athletics new season ads.

While many of you may have already seen these videos, we figure another portion of you who do not live in California maybe never thought of searching Youtube for "2011 Oakland Athletics commercials." Or maybe you have.

Either way, enjoy!

Andrew Bailey is a closer 24/7

Ladies and Gentlemen, Justin Masterson

Charlie Sheen, who recently bailed Lenny Dykstra out of jail for one reason or another, has coined many catchphrases recently. The one we find most irritating is: "Duh, Winning."

Justin Masterson, on the other hand, finds this saying enlightening. Even appropriate. I guess we can go along with that for now.

Sporting a black t-shirt with the Sheenism right on the front, Masterson gets a pass from us. The right-hander won his fifth straight start Tuesday, leading the first-place Indians to a 9-4 win over the Kansas City Royals.

Now boasting a 5-0 record and 2.18 ERA after going at least six innings in each of his victorious starts, Masterson allowed three runs on five hits over 6.2 innings. He opened the game by retiring 10 straight, five on grounders, striking out seven and walking two.

Just for Kids

With legendary sports figures such as Emmitt Smith, Keith Hernandez, and now Randy Johnson teaming up to represent graying men everywhere, these guys thought it was time to help out a younger generation. From the guys who brought you the Wiffleball gem, here is "Just for Kids"...

Roy Oswalt: All Good Things Must Come to an End

Roy Oswalt was not his usual effective self Tuesday night.

The Philadelphia Phillies righty lasted just three [awful] innings against the Arizona Diamondbacks, surrendering five runs on six hits with a walk and not one strikeout on 57 pitches. So what the hell is going on?

Manager Charlie Manuel offered this insight on his hurler's evening:

"His stuff wasn’t good. His stuff wasn’t crisp and his velocity was down. I figured there was no sense in leaving him out there. He wasn't right."

Of course, the first thing on Phillies' fans minds is whether or not Roy is healthy. According to his skipper, there's nothing apparently wrong with him.

Lost in the San Francisco Giants Youtube World

Ever get completely lost in the Youtube? I just did. Most of the time I watch weird shit like this, but tonight I was hypnotized by the reigning World Champions.

I've come across a few San Francisco Giants commericals that are new to this season, and I got to thinking: I bet no one outside of the Bay Area has ever seen these! Unless of course, they are searching the internet for 2011 Giants commercials. That is totally possible.

Anyway, here they are. Enjoy, if you haven't already.

The Giants save a young lady from failing her driver's exam.

CC Sabathia Enters the Field of Dreams

This new Pepsi Max commercial is pretty great when you consider all of the legendary Hall of Famers hanging out. Together. In Iowa.

Maybe now that guy from the toy store will finally be schooled to who Mike Schmidt and Von Hayes are...



By the way, we are oh-so close to 1,500 Facebook "likes" -- when we reach that milestone, we'll randomly give away a sweet prize, so click that like button and suggest us to your baseball-loving buddies!

Brian Wilson and Cody Ross Are Dynamite

In case that whole baseball thing doesn't work out for Giants' bearded closer Brian Wilson and the adorably smiley Cody Ross, they may have found themselves another career opportunity... as lip sync artists.

Wilson and Ross are the latest guest stars in a YouTube video by Keenan Cahill. Cahill is a 16 year old internet sensation who has gained popularity lip synching along to various songs. Previous guest stars include 50 Cent, Jersey Shore's Pauly D, and Nick Cannon. Cahill has a rare disease, Maroteaux-Lamy Syndrome, which gives him a dwarf like appearance.

The Giants are holding a fundraiser for Keenan at their May 25th game against the Florida Marlins.

And now.. for your viewing enjoyment, we present to you their video. Enjoy!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Josh Johnson

For the second straight game, Josh Johnson was stingy on the mound.

The right-hander gave up no runs on just two hits over seven spectacular innings to help his Florida Marlins beat the Pittsburgh Pirates 6-0 Tuesday night. He struck out nine and walked one.

Johnson, whose record is now 3-0 with 17 consecutive scoreless innings under his belt, lowered his ERA to a nice, round 1.00 using his 96 mph fastball and that spankin' new curveball of his. He has allowed four hits or less in each of his four starts, with batters failing to hit better than .112 against him.

However, he has never thrown a shutout in 108 career starts. Even after going seven strong innings Tuesday, his pitch count was too high to continue at 98 pitches, with 64 for strikes. Better luck next time!

[Miami Herald]

Happy Holidays!

Love,
D'Meat Hook

Happy Birthday Man Muscles!

Happy 28th Birthday, Joe Mauer. Get well soon, and take care of those sexy legs.

P.S. Happy Birthday to Troy Polamalu as well, who turns the Big 30 as he shares this special day (and his shampoo) with Man Muscles.

Autographed Yankees High Heels for MS Treatment

Are you a Yankees fan who likes to wear high heels and give to charitable causes? Boy, do we have an eBay item for you!

Krista Reid-Brownlow is auctioning off a pair of white heels autographed by several members of the 2010 Yankees, including Joe Girardi, Derek Jeter, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, Mariano Rivera, Phil Hughes, Curtis Granderson, Brett Gardner, Dave Robertson, Jorge Posada, Chad Gaudin, and Robinson Cano.

Reid-Brownlow's mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis twelve years ago, and she is hoping to raise some extra money from the auctioning of these shoes to help send her mom from Canada to New York for MS Liberation Treatment. 100% of the proceeds will go to her cause.

Best of luck Krista!

[Learn more at Diva Dash]

WTF Was That, Justin Verlander???

One might blame the seemingly very tight pants. Or, one could blame those damn vuvuzelas blaring in the background (SERIOUSLY.. BAN THOSE EFFING HORNS FROM BASEBALL AND FROM EXISTING ANYWHERE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD). Or, maybe blame his jealousy of David DeJesus's perfect face. But Detroit ace Justin Verlander threw what could be called the most "WTF" worthy balk of all time.

Seriously. What WAS that? I think Justin needs to work on his pick off moves just a little bit. Just saying.

Nothing Like Some Good Old Fashioned Trash Talk

There's really nothing like some good, old fashioned trash talking. I suppose it's always a good idea to draw the line somewhere, but it's funnier when you don't.

Get Well Soon, Barry Zito

There's a first time for everything, right?

Barry Zito has landed on the 15-day disabled for the very first time in his 12-year career. The San Francisco Giants lefty made history after spraining his right foot attempting to field a bunt during Saturday night's 5-3 victory over the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Zito, like a cat except not at all, dove to catch a pop bunt in front of the mound by Joe Saunders in the second inning. He totally caught the ball, but was immediately met on the hill by the team's athletic trainer. The 32-year-old tossed one warmup pitch and promptly walked off the field.

X-rays on his foot were negative, but Zito and his swollen ankle left the clubhouse on crutches anyway. He underwent an MRI exam on Sunday, confirming the sprain.

Unfortunately, Zito’s streak of 356 regular-season starts without missing a turn due to injury will end this Friday when he does not take the mound for his scheduled start against the Atlanta Braves in San Francisco.

Get well soon, Barry! We were just starting to get used to that mustache.

[San Francisco Chronicle]

Jackie Robinson Day: Celebrating a Legend

"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." - Jackie Robinson.

While most of the country associates April 15 as the dreaded "Tax Day" the rest of us know that today's date has much more meaning.

Happy Jackie Robinson Day.

Today is the 64th anniversary of the date when Robinson broke the color barrier in Major League Baseball, becoming the first black man allowed to play the game outside the Negro League. The baseball legend played his first big league game with the Brooklyn Dodgers at Ebbets Field on April 15, 1947. He went on to win the Rookie of the Year honors and play in six All-Star games.

Wally Backman Thinks You Suck

We thought we'd share one more Wally Backman tirade with you this afternoon. We've been thinking, and we decided that he is what would happen if Earl Weaver and Kenny Powers had a baby. No disrespect meant to Earl or Kenny.

This video was shared with us by John Fitzgerald from the minor league baseball documentary Playing for Peanuts. He gave us the perfect lede:

"Here's a clip of Wally going ballistic on his team in a postgame speech... The best part is that his team started the season with six wins, then they lost, dropping them to 6-1."

As with many things Wally Backman-related, this is not safe for work, kids, or the religious. Enjoy!

Barry Bonds Found Guilty*

Barry, Barry, Barry.

We've refrained from writing about the Barry Bonds trial until today, mostly because we are so unbelievably sick of the Homerun King* and all of his steroid related crap. But now, he should invest in some soap on a rope faces some actual jail time for all of this annoying mess he's gotten himself into.

Knock us over with a feather.

Surprisingly, none of the counts under the indictment were for being a cheater cheater pumpkin eater. When he was originally indicted in December 2006, there were four charges of giving false testimony and one count of obstruction of justice. A second indictment added a whopping 10 more charges. However, in February of this year, the charges were scaled back to just a total of four - three for being a liar, and one for obstruction and trying to mislead the grand jury.

Happy Trails Carlos Delgado

It's okay, we thought Carlos Delgado already retired, too. I guess now it's official!

The former first baseman for the New York Mets and Toronto Blue Jays, who hasn't played since May 2009 due to a hip injury, announced his intent to hang up his glove Wednesday. Unfortunately, he was just 27 longballs away from reaching the 500 Home Run Club after 17 big league seasons, where he accumulated a .280 career batting average.

Wally Backman Amazes and Frightens Us

These days, Wally Backman is rarely referred to as a "former New York Mets second baseman." No, now he is better known as the lunatic South Georgia Peanuts skipper with hilarious anger management and self-control issues.

Seriously, he needs his mouth washed out with a stiff bar of soap. And for me to say that is pretty incredible considering I have the vocabulary of a sailor.

Obviously, every manager in the history of America's Pastime has disagreed with one call or another made by an umpire. Sometimes that call is a disputed home run.

Tough Break for Josh Hamilton

Josh Hamilton has landed on the disabled list once again, this time with a broken arm.

The Texas Rangers left fielder is expected to screw up millions of fantasy baseball teams miss six to eight weeks after fracturing his upper right arm on a headfirst dive into home plate Tuesday during his team's 5-4 loss to the Detroit Tigers.

The reigning American League MVP later called the play on a foul popup near the dugout "stupid" even though he totally threw third base coach Dave Anderson under the bus while doing so:

"The whole time the ball was in the air, the coach was yelling, ‘Go, there’s no one at home,’ and I was thinking, ‘I don’t want to do this, something is going to happen.’ But I listened to my coach. It was way too aggressive. Maybe if they had both been closer to me, but they had a perfect angle to cut me off, and the only way to avoid a tag in that situation is to go head first.”

This is why they teach you the fundamentals in little league... like keeping your eye on the ball, following through on your throws, and not diving head-first into home plate.

Get well soon, Josh.

[ESPN: Stephania Bell]

Trevor Cahill Gets the Big Bucks

The Oakland Athletics, home of one of the best rotations in the American League, have thrown a large sum of money at one of their All-Star starters.

Trevor Cahill received a five-year contract worth $30.5 million Monday, taking him through all three of his arbitration-eligible seasons and first potential year of free agency. The 23-year-old righty, who is currently 1-0 with a 1.42 ERA over his first two starts this season, was supposed to earn just $440,000 under the contract he agreed to on March 7. He had this to say regarding his new paycheck:

"It feels good. I came up with them and I’m just glad they gave me the opportunity to lock me up and I’m guaranteed to pitch for a while, so I couldn’t be happier."

Cahill earned the Opening Day honors after notching 18 wins last year with a 2.97 ERA, in just his second big league season. Awesome.

This move will keep their young rotation in tact for at least a few more years, which should bring them some decent season records. In fact, MLB odds give the A's a slight advantage to win the American League West this season. After all, winning does begin and end with pitching.

[Oakland Athletics]

Who Are You and What Have You Done With the Indians

Look out American League Central, here come the 8-2 Cleveland Indians.

The Tribe, fresh off a sweep of the Seattle Mariners, carried their winning streak to eight games Monday with a 4-0 win over the Los Angeles Angels.

Thanks to longballs by Asdrubal Cabrera and Matt LaPorta, along with some good defense and outstanding pitching, Talbot was able to take the shutout into the ninth inning before Bobby Abreu led off the ninth with a double on his 112th pitch. The righty was then lifted for Vinnie Pestano, who retired the Halos, 1-2-3. Talbot, who surrendered just five hits with four strikeouts and two walks, had this to say about his team's success:

"I don’t think anybody expected us to come out like this. But you look down this lineup and it’s pretty good. It's unbelievable... It's awesome. The thing is, I think we're capable of keeping it going."

Jim Jam Mashes His First Tater of 2011

Jim Thome went yard Sunday afternoon during his team's 5-3 loss to the Oakland Athletics, crushing a two-run shot in the eighth inning off Jerry Blevins that cleared the 36-foot high batter's eye in straightaway center of Target Field.

The Minnesota Twins designated hitter has made a winner out of Rachel Erickson, who was randomly chosen from last Wednesday's online contest. Rachel, a fellow babe who loves baseball, will receive this sweet Mashin' Taters t-shirt courtesy of DiamondCentric Apparel.

Anyway, keep an eye on Jim Jam. Only ten more bombs until he joins the elite 600 Club!

[DiamondCentric]

Speaking of the Twins, check out Sooze and Marea's interview with Joe and Teresa Mauer. We love him a bazillion times more now that we've touched him.

We Interviewed Joe Mauer (And Didn't Die of Elation)

Sooze and I have never made our infatuation with Joe Mauer a secret. In fact, it was our deep rooted love of Man Muscles that landed us a brief interview with him. No, I'm not lying. If you'll recall, a couple of weeks ago, we told you about the Kemps contest where Joe and our future mother in law his mom Teresa were choosing the biggest Mauer "Fan"ily to get to watch the shoot of Joe and Teresa's newest Kemps Ice Cream commercial.

We went behind the scenes today and got to meet the lucky (and adorable!) family, David and Kathy DeGear and their four beautiful children, who won the contest AND got to ask Joe and Mama Mauer a few questions. Without further ado, we bring you the best five minutes of our lives. Enjoy!

Babes Love Baseball: Let's start with one for both of you. How did you pick the winners of the biggest "Fan"ily contest?

Teresa Mauer: [To Joe] Oooh, he's gonna throw me under the bus, aren't you?

Joe Mauer: No, actually, you [To Teresa] pretty much picked it. And she did a great job doing it.

Teresa Mauer: It was hard! There were a lot of great families that sent in. But the bottom line, the one thing that stood out was that they were not only Joe fans, but also Twins fans.

BLB: They were really cute!

TM: They were. Great family.

BLB: [To Joe] Does it kind of creep you out a little bit that there are so many people obsessed with you? And my [Marea's] son's middle name is Joseph, after you, so I'll admit that I'm not exempt from this question.

Manny Ramirez: Happy Trails, Dumbass

We've known for years that Tampa Bay's designated hitter Manny Ramirez was his own special brand of stupid. Former teammates have likened him to cancer. He's made some ridiculously stupid comments. Love him or hate him, it's still big news that our favorite butterfly chasing dumbass retired today after 19 seasons.

Manny missed Thursday's game with what was called a "family issue". He was expected to return to the lineup on Friday, but the issue turned out to be what the commissioner's office called "an issue under Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program". Oops.

Manny apparently failed a drug test by testing positive for a banned substance during spring training. He didn't bother to appeal the positive test. Rather than face a suspension of 100 games, Ramirez decided instead to hang it up for good. Should he decide in the future to rejoin the Rays (or whatever team would actually put up with him), he would still be required to face disciplinary action for the failed test. I'm willing to bet that Roy Oswalt's neck is wishing Manny had made this decision a few weeks ago.

Thanks A Lot, Nick Swisher

オハイオ州のたわごと(Oh Shit!)

Minnesota Twins fans who were looking forward to seeing Tsuyoshi Nishioka's Target Field debut will have to wait for a lot longer than today's home opener.

In the seventh inning during yesterday's game, the Twins second baseman and former Japanese batting champ was standing firm on second base when Yankees right fielder Nick Swisher attempted to break up a double play and took a hard slide... right into Nishioka's firmly planted left leg. Nishioka was carried off the field and it was later ruled that he had fractured his fibula. Ouch.

Nobody is blaming Swisher for playing dirty. Twins skipper Ron Gardenhire was quoted as saying "Swisher's a clean player. It was a good slide. That's not an issue at all." And Nishioka himself called the slide a "professional play." Right now the bigger question is why in the hell Nishioka didn't jump out of the way.

Big Time Timmy Jim Fans a Baker's Dozen

Tim Lincecum struck out 13 San Diego Padres Wednesday evening, helping his San Francisco Giants earn their second win of the season by a score of 8-4.

He held the Padres to one run on three hits over seven solid innings, just two shy of his career high in strikeouts, without walking a batter. The Freaky Franchise was given a 3-0 lead in the first inning before fanning the first four guys he faced.

Lincecum, the NL strikeouts leader for three seasons running, struck out 10 or more for the 27th time in his short career, tying Jason Schmidt for the second-most by a Giants pitcher since 1900 when Christy Mathewson did it 28 times.

Fun fact: he's done it on four occasions against the Padres, every time at Petco Park.

Babes Love Having Contests!

Hey Readers!

Spring is here, baseball season is upon us, and we're in a giving mood - and the good folks at DiamondCentric are too. You know DiamondCentric - the very same guys who brought you such classic t-shirts as "Thome Is My Homey" and "Cuddy is My Buddy".

In honor of a brand spankin' new baseball season being upon us, and in honor of their newest shirt "Mashin' Taters", we thought we'd have ourselves a little giveaway. Since you all know how much we love Jim Thome, we thought it would be appropriate to give away a sweet Mashin' Taters shirt when Ol' Jimmers mashes his first tater of the season. All you have to do is leave a comment at the end of this post on here or on Facebook, and you're entered to win. Once Jim Jam hits number 590, we'll randomly pick a winner. Easy enough, right? You'd better hurry, too, in case Thome decides to go yard tonight.

Good luck!

P.S. Even if you don't win, you should totally go buy one of their shirts anyway.


[DiamondCentric]

Get Well Soon, Adam Dunn

Adam Dunn is going to miss at least 5 days after having an emergency appendectomy last night. The Chicago White Sox DH made it through twelve innings last night before leaving the game against the Royals. Pretty badass, no? You would hope he's a tough guy after the money they shelled out for him during the off season.

Speaking of the Royals... After last night's walk off win, they are still holding steady in first place of the AL Central. Granted, the season isn't even a week old yet, but still. It's been a while since they've enjoyed being on top. Let's let them enjoy it.

Roger Clemens Does Not Understand Term "Gag Order"

A federal judge warned Roger Clemens on Monday that he was getting "precariously close" to violating a gag order by verbalizing his opinion on Barry Bonds' upcoming trial on steroid allegations.

Apparently, United States District Court Judge Reggie B. Walton was unaware of the fact that the Rocket never ever shuts the hell up. Ever. The sound of his own voice is music to his ears.

Despite being told clearly last August to keep his giant mouth from opening, Clemens and his former trainer Brian McNamee gave interviews about the case last week.

Just two days after McNamee went on a radio show denouncing the accusation that he is a "rat," the Rocket told ESPN Radio's Mike & Mike that he's excited to defend himself:

Voodoo Sabermetrics: Brian Wilson

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our 14th Edition of VooDoo Sabermetrics. We know, it's been way too long. Obscenely long. We promise we won't wait another year before you get to voodoo. At any rate, this week's subject is bearded San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson. It is no one's fault but his own that this post will be riddled with Youtube videos. Enjoy.

Sooze, Babes Love Baseball and Star Tribune...

Jolliness - Brian Wilson's jolliness knows no bounds. Even on a 3-2 count with the bases juiced he has a smirk on his face. Well, what's left of his face under that monstrous merkin he refers to as his epic beard. Apparently there's a maypole and sexy elves inside of it. And ninjas. No, you're not allowed to touch it. There's too much magic inside.

Wilson gets a giant tripping unicorn wielding two machine guns on the Jollity Scale.

Cliff Lee is an Animal

In his first game back with the Philadelphia Phillies in front of the 138th consecutive sellout at Citizen's Bank Park, it was apparent how much Cliff Lee was missed.

The lefty fanned 11 batters in his team's 9-4 victory over the Houston Astros on Saturday, allowing three runs on four hits behind a 14-hit Philadelphia barrage. He struck out three of the first five batters he faced, and didn't allow a hit until Angel Sanchez came up with a single to lead off the fourth inning.

Ubaldo Jimenez: an Epic Thumb

Ubaldo Jimenez surrendered six runs over six innings Friday in a tough debut loss against the Arizona Diamondbacks. You'll have that, especially when you have a tiny cut on the right thumb cuticle of your pitching hand.

We still love him...

And I Got Mad Hits Like I Was [Ichiro] Rod Carew

On the 10th anniversary of his big league debut, Ichiro Suzuki nailed a ninth-inning RBI single to become the Seattle Mariners all-time hits leader.

During his team's 5-2 victory over the Oakland Athletics Saturday, the All-Star right-fielder tied the mark on an infield single in the third inning before his milestone hit in the ninth off Brian Fuentes.

King Felix: Better Luck Next Time... Guy

If I had an epic arm like Felix Hernandez, I would totally cheat at Carnival games too. Among other things.

Season Previews: Boston Red Sox

With Opening Day upon us, we're finishing up with one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Four years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Ending our preview of the American League East and season previews in general, here are the Boston Red Sox. Right on time.

Please don't lie to us
We know you wish your girlfriend
Had the same trampstamp

Carl Crawford makes
The most money of any
Outfielder ever

J.D Drew in right
Jacoby Elsbury is
Damn adorable

Over at first base
Adrian Gonzalez got
Big hot stove money

Youkilis at third
Scutaro and Pedroia
Are up the middle

Jason Varitek?
Saltalamacchia is
The starting catcher

Season Previews: Tampa Bay Rays

With Opening Weekend upon us, we're just about finished with one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Four years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the American League East, here are the Tampa Bay Rays.


Buh-Bye Garza and
Bartlett. Welcome to Tampa
Manny Ramirez!

Hello to your old
Boston teammate Johnny D!
Reunions are fun.

Also lost Crawford
To wicked tons of money free agency. Hope they're
OK without him.