12.05.2011

Minnesota Twins Give Matt Capps One-Year Deal, We LOL


Well, it's not so much that we laughed out loud... it was more like a disgusted groan. Out loud. Then we chuckled at the absolute stupidity of the deal, and our rash belief that Terry Ryan was going to do anything to point the Minnesota Twins in the opposite direction of bad decisions.

Those feelings were the aftermath of the news that the club has re-signed that fat, save-blowing sucktard Matt Capps to a one-year deal for $4.75 million. DOLLARS. Apparently they were feeling generous and even threw in a club option for 2013.

We understand Joe Nathan's are some big shoes to fill. At least they used to be. But Capps? MATT CAPPS? Haven't we been through this already? Guess not. Ryan has been quoted as saying he thinks "Capps will bounce back," which we agree with. That's what chubsters do: they bounce.

Also, Capps is not familiar with striking people out: he fanned just 34 batters in 65.2 innings last season on top of his unacceptable 4.25 ERA.

/face palm

[Hardball Talk]

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lori said...

WHY oh WHY??!! It's getting awfully hard to mail in my season ticket payments each month. Ugh.

Unknown said...

Blergh. They can't be serious. I hope "undisclosed amount" is the secret code for "two broken bats and some pine tar" because that's about what he's worth after last season, but I doubt that is the case.

shannon said...

Maybe he has some dirt on Mauer and threatened to make it public unless he was re-signed. Because goodness knows the front office can't have their Baby Jesus' squeaky-clean public image tarnished.

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