Happy New Year: Most Memorable Stories in Major League Baseball from 2011

Well, we're all another year older and not a bit wiser. Can you believe it's almost 2012? Top Tens are pretty nifty and all, but we're gonna go ahead and add a few more of baseball's most memorable moments of the 2011 season, including the happy, sad, funny and unbelievable.

April 8: Manny Ramirez "retired" from baseball after getting busted cheating once again. Idiot. This happened roughly eight months before he was officially reinstated and granted a 50-game ban if any team chooses to sign his dumb ass.

April 11: We were given the opportunity to interview Joe Mauer and his mother during a Kemps ice cream commercial shoot and managed not to embarrass ourselves.

April 20: Cody Ross and Brian Wilson joined Youtube sensation Keenan Cahill in a lip-synced rendition of Dynamite. This is about when B-Weezy stopped being entertaining... just ask Bud Norris.

May 17: Harmon Killebrew passed away at the age of 74, leaving behind a legacy unrivaled in Minnesota sports.

May 26: Kirk Gibson face-planted during batting practice and we almost pee our pants. Meanwhile, Buster Posey broke his leg and our hearts.

June 3: We speculated and fantasized about where Albert Pujols would end up in 2012 and made a video of him playing in a Chicago Cubs uniform.

June 23: In the midst of a break-up, Sooze declared the top ten reasons baseball is better than men.

July 20: We were mildly irritated that Jim Thome was about to crush his 600th career home run and no one seemed to give a shit. Try to keep up people.

August 30: We finally gave in and admitted to ourselves and the world that Man Muscles is not the toughest guy on the planet. In fact, he's kind of a pussy. Besides, he's engaged now anyway.

September 1: We took a long look back at 3,000 posts. You'd think we had nothing better to do with our lives.

September 3: Before deciding to retire a champion, Tony La Russa bitched about something irrelevant once again.

September 20: Mariano Rivera carried on with his daily routine and became baseball's All-time saves leader.

September 24: We turned back the clock when the Milwaukee Brewers won their first division title since 1982. Those were the days.

September 29: Wild Card Wednesday. If any of you were at any of these games we were downright jealous. What a day in a baseball... it was almost as crazy as Game 6 of the World Series nearly a month later.

October 6: Tim Lincecum was sued by his former landlord for being a lazyass stoner party animal. He's like a lot of our buddies, minus the millions of dollars and baseball talent.

October 11: Nelson Cruz nailed the first ever walkoff Grand Slam in postseason history. This, just five days before he earned the ALCS MVP honor and his Texas Rangers made the trip to their second consecutive World Series... which they eventually lost for the second consecutive year.

October 13: Nyjer Morgan's pot called the kettle black when he referred to a mix-up with the family seating arrangement at Busch Stadium as "bush league". Hilarious. Meanwhile, a few Boston Red Sox players were called out for being fat, drunk slobs. Also hilarious.

October 24: We weren't sure who told Derek Holland it was okay to grow that thing on his upper lip, but he obviously didn't have a girlfriend. Or a mother.

October 29: The St. Louis Cardinals shocked the nation and capped an improbable playoff run by winning the World Series in seven exciting games. Suddenly, David Freese becomes a household name.

And then there's the offseason, which is always eventful.

November 4: JI-
JIM THOME signed a one-year deal with the Phillies and we were super pumped. This naturally means there will be at least one more year of Dugouts to laugh at.

November 11: Wilson Ramos was rescued from his abductors after a little over 48 hours; we were happy he was safe and sound.

December 7: While the look on spankin' new Miami Marlins shortstop Jose Reyes' face when he draped himself in his hideous new uniform was priceless, the amount of dough his new team spent in a matter of one work week was not: Ozzie Guillen's club dropped $191 million between Reyes, Heath Bell, and Mark Buehrle at the winter meetings in Dallas.

December 8: Not to be outdone, the Hot Stove was blazing in Anaheim this winter as well. C.J. Wilson took his straightedge hipster act to Southern California to join King Albert and the Halos.

December 10: Not only were Cardinals fans burning Pujols jerseys, we're sure some of them set fire to the full page ad he took out in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Honorable mention: Ryan Braun's entire 2011 season: from the badassery of becoming a 30-30 player to his National League MVP award, that time he face-planted just in time to be tagged out and miss the opportunity to hit an inside-the-park home run, and of course, his recent failed drug test and his (alleged) bout of herpes. Not exactly in that order.

We were also pleased to hear earlier this month that Bryan Stow was making positive strides in his recovery from the vicious beating he endured on Opening Day in the Dodger Stadium parking lot. Our thoughts and prayers are still with his family and friends throughout the holiday season.

By the way, in case you enjoy lists and missed the Top Ten things we were oh-so-thankful for in 2011, you can find that here in our Thanksgiving post. No, Joe Mauer was not one of them.

What was the most memorable moment of the 2011 season for you?


Michael said...

Let's see, I'm a Twins fan so I think the most memorable moment of the 2011 seson for me was this great post highlighting the year! Now I have two things to look forward to: Spring Training and reading your posts!

Anonymous said...

The most memorable moment for me was definitely the Cards winning the World Series. Here's to another great season in 2012!!

UnHoly Diver said...

I've been a Cardinals fan for almost all of my 59 years on this planet(family tradition and all), so I'll let you guess what my favorite moment was(and no, it wasn't getting that spoiled brat Colby Rasmus the hell outta Dodge, but it's a close 4th).

Marea said...

We probably should give honorable mention to Ryan Braun's entire year.. His badassery, his MVP year, his trip that cost him the inside the park homer, his failed test and his (alleged) bout of herpes.

Sooze said...

Well said Marea.

Megs said...

Excellent list and even better addition of Ryan Braun at the end there. What a tool.

Rachel said...

For me it was watching Jim Thome crush number 600. No matter where he's playing, Thome will always be my homey.

Anonymous said...

jeters 3000th hit?

Sooze said...


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