Season Previews: Boston Red Sox

With Opening Day upon us, we're finishing up with one of our favorite things in all the world: . Four years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Ending our preview of the American League East and season previews in general, here are the Boston Red Sox. Right on time.

Please don't lie to us
We know you wish your girlfriend
Had the same trampstamp

Carl Crawford makes
The most money of any
Outfielder ever

J.D Drew in right
Jacoby Elsbury is
Damn adorable

Over at first base
Adrian Gonzalez got
Big hot stove money

Youkilis at third
Scutaro and Pedroia
Are up the middle

Jason Varitek?
Saltalamacchia is
The starting catcher

Big Papi's DH
We've always liked his smile
His slumps? Not so much

Bobby Jenks is new
And his albino squirrel
Who lives on his chin

Lester and Lackey
Clay Buccholz and Josh Beckett
Make room for Daisuke

Wakefield in the pen
Papelbon still the closer
Does the Irish jig

Reyes a lefty
Bard, Wheeler, and Matt Albers
Are all right-handers

Let's not forget Jed
McDonald and Cameron
They will ride the bench

The Red Sox will win
The American League East
Quote us on that one

[Extra Bases] | [Over the Monster] | [SOX & Dawgs] | [Fenway Faithful Report]


Anonymous said...

Such a large canvas for such a small tattoo.