Season Previews: Philadelphia Phillies

With Opening Day just around the corner, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: . Four years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Finishing up our preview of the National League East, here are the Philadelphia Phillies.

The Phillies pitching
Is completely out of hand
The best in baseball?

They are kind of like
The Yankees of the NL
But we don't hate them

Halladay and Lee
Oswalt, Hamels, and Blanton
Just ridiculous

Lidge still the closer
Contreras and Madson will
Help finish the job

Ryan Howard and
Polanco at the corners
Valdez and Gload too

So long Jayson Werth
Who needs that beard of yours when
You have guys like Ben

Francisco in right
Raul Ibanez in left
Flyin' Hawaiian!

Chutley loves puppies
And J-Roll loves the spot light
Double play combo

We love how Carlos
Ruiz squats behind the plate
And bats .300

Can fans refrain from
Vomiting on people and
Running on the field?

Will the Phillies be
The Champs of the East again
Magic 8-Ball? Yes.

[The Good Phight] | [Beerleaguer] | [That Ball's Outa Here


Anonymous said...

I hope green man makes an appearance at the World Series this year...