Big Time Timmy Jim!

This could quite possibly be our favorite ESPN commercial ever. It would take forever to list the reasons why we love Tim Lincecum, so we'll just go with... we like how he rolls.

You're a super star Little Timmy!

Congratulations, Minnesota Twins New Guy!

With Nick Punto still on the DL, the Twins called up Aussie infielder Luke Hughes, and today he made his first start at the hot corner. Hughes first came up to the plate at the bottom of the second with two out, but then Delmon Young got caught stealing third. Hughes resumed his plate appearance at the top of the 3rd, and he hit a home run at his very first Major League at bat.

The 25-year-old Hughes was signed by the Twins in 2002, and has been hiding out in the Twins' farm system for the last 7 seasons. Which leads us to ask why the hell we haven't called him up sooner???

On a side note, one of our favorite tater-mashers, Jim Thome, hit bomb number 568 tonight. He's just one shy of tying Rafael Palmero for the number eleven spot in all time home runs. Way to go, Jim Jam!

Ryan Howard Gets the Big Bucks

The Philadelphia Phillies and Ryan Howard agreed to a $125 million, five-year contract extension Monday that could end up keeping him around until 2017.

The slugging first baseman will make $20 million a year in 2012 and 2013 before putting away $25 million annually from 2014-16. The Phillies then have a $23 million option on him for 2017 along with a $10 million buyout. Big Brown has also received a limited no-trade clause where he is able to choose nine teams each year that he can be traded to with his consent.

Get off My Mound, A-Rod

There is an unwritten rule in the game of baseball. DO NOT step on a pitcher's mound when going back to your base. You just don't do it. You walk around, if you know what's good for you, especially if Dallas Braden is on the bump.

Braden is not impressed with Alex Rodriguez's baseball etiquette. In the sixth inning of the Oakland Athletics 4-2 victory over the New York Yankees, A-Rod went from first to third on a foul ball by Robinson Cano. On his way back to first, he dared to step all over Braden's hill. And oh my gosh, did Dallas let him have it.

A-Rod was clueless as usual:

"He just told me to get off his mound. I was a little surprised. I'd never quite heard that. Especially from a guy that has a handful of wins in his career ... I thought it was pretty funny actually."

Braden retorted in the opposing locker room:

"He should probably take a note from his captain over there and realize you don't cross the pitcher's mound in between an inning or during the game. I was just dumbfounded that he would let that slip his mind — being someone of such status. I don't care if I'm Cy Young or the 25th man on the roster, if I've got the ball in my hand and I'm on that mound, that's my mound. He ran across the pitcher's mound -- foot on my rubber. No, not happening. We're not the door mat anymore."

Yikes. You know, Braden looks kinda' gangsta in his Yahoo! Sports profile pic...

Anyhow, it doesn't really matter, because nothing can rain on your parade when you ignited the first Yankees triple play in 42 years.

[Fanhouse] | [SB Nation]

Happy Holidays!

Love,
D'Meat Hook

Happy Birthday Man Muscles!

Happy 27th birthday, Joe Mauer. We love you. A lot.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame: Ballpark Etiquette

On Monday, I was at a ballgame and my brother-in-law, Jeff, said, "You know, you should write a post for BLB about ballpark etiquette." And I said, "Yeah, maybe I will." Well... After going to another game this weekend, I realized this post has now become a necessity. Baseball fans, please take note of the following dos and don'ts when it comes to heading out to the ballpark.

In the parking lot/ramp:
DO: Pull into the parking space quickly, yet safely. Exit your car and either set up your tailgate area without intruding on traffic, or head into the gates while walking out of the way of the cars and fans trying to park and do the same.

DON'T: Stop and ponder taking a space, then slowly move forward, then stop at the next available space, ponder, then move on, and so on and so forth. Especially, DO NOT stop and then back into a parking space, then pull back out, straighten your car (but most likely giant truck rather than car) out, and then re-back into the space. There are like 50 people waiting behind you, man.

Nelson Cruz vs. Andrew Bailey

This one's been around a while, but it's awesome and we wanted to share the hilarity with you.

Big Papi Has 99 Problems

New York Yankees fan (and Boston Red Sox hater) rapper Jay-Z is suing the pants of David Ortiz.

Apparently, the rapper and his business partner, Juan Perez, filed a lawsuit against the slumping designated hitter on Thursday for copyright infringement. Big Papi opened a night club in the Dominican Republic and called it "Forty-Forty" which is similar in its name to Jay-Z's "40/40 Club" sports bars.

You know what? This is so dumb. All three of these jokers have more money than God as it is. I'm thrilled to see them fight over their Benjamins.

Maybe MLB should sue Ortiz, since he's never even had 40 homers and 40 steals in a season. Not even in little league.

[Rueters] | [Big League Stew]

Season Previews: San Diego Padres

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing our preview of the National League West, here are the San Diego Padres.

Dear LORD Matt Stairs has
Played ball for a long time.
What's he, like, ninety??

John Garland's joined the
Rotation, not a great ace.
He used to kick ass.

Correia, Richard,
And Latos round out starting
Pitchers. That's too bad.

Off to a hot start:
Adrian Gonzalez. Hopes
For his third gold glove.

Kyle Blanks will be
One to watch, could have a break
Out year. He's in left.

What's that Sucking Sound?

Oh, it's just the Houston Astros.

The St. Louis Cardinals were the most recent team to beat the winless Astros, who dropped yet another game of the 2010 season to become the only team left in all of Major League Baseball without a victory.

Brad Penny and the Cardinals bullpen limited them to just four hits in the 2-1 loss, bringing Houston's record to an unfortunate 0-8 on the year. Though the season is still young, I'm sure Astros fans wouldn't mind seeing a W sometime soon.

Fat Elvis is looking more and more attractive every day.

Season Previews: San Francisco Giants

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing our preview of the National League West, here are the San Francisco Giants.

Giants have the best
Pitcher in NL. Timmy
Needs a haircut, BAD Smokes a lot of pot Wants a third Cy Young.

Zito is off to
A decent start. He used to
Be pretty good. Once.

Renteria, Huff,
Uribe, and Sandoval
Powerful infield.

Rowand in center,
DeRosa in left, Bowker
Hanging out in right.

Catcher Molina
Is on fire. The whole team
Is, actually.

They're smoking hot so
Far this season. Will they take
The West? They just might!

[McCovey Chronicles] | [Bay City Ball] | [SF Gate]

Ricky Romero: Almost Perfect

Ricky Romero took a no-hit bid late into his Toronto Blue Jays' 4-2 win over the Chicago White Sox Tuesday night, but one of his former teammates -- Alex Rios -- blew it for him.

The lefty was absolutely crushing it up until the eighth inning, striking out a career-high 12 batters until "hitting" A.J. Pierzynski with a pitch to start off the inning. The big whiner was awarded first base when the ball hit the dirt near his right toe.

Rios followed by smashing a 2-1 changeup to deep left field for the White Sox only hit, but all it takes is one to ruin a no-hitter.

Romero knew it was gone the minute it hit the bat, turning toward center field, resting his hands on his knees and lowering his head as Rios trotted around the bases amidst a chorus of boos.

Season Previews: Los Angeles Dodgers

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Kicking off our preview of the National League West, here are the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Welcome ladies and
Gentlemen to Mannywood
It's ridiculous

MLB betting
Will never be quite the same
With him out in left

Kemp in center
Moved into Riahnna's house
Man, she's a hottie

Andre Ethier
Is real good at what he does
Reed Johnson: backup

Casey Blake at third
and James Loney at first base
Martin behind home

Furcal and DeWitt
Are the double play combo
...and Ronnie sometimes

Season Previews: Florida Marlins

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Wrapping up our preview of the National League East, here are the Florida Marlins.


We at BLB
Almost forgot the Marlins
Even existed.

Most of Florida
Forgot too - But they're getting
A new stadium?!

Coghlin got Rookie
Of the Year last year, maybe
He will fill the seats?

Hanley Ramirez
Is pretty awesome - he'll
Be an all-star again.

Season Previews: Washington Nationals

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing with our preview of the National League East, here is a look at the Washington Nationals 2010 season.


The Nationals suck
Stephen Strasburg is the shit
The Nationals suck

[Nats320] | [Capitol Punishment] | [Federal Baseball]

Get Well Soon Chipper!

We are incredibly bummed to announce that Chipper Jones will be missing out on the upcoming three-game series in San Francisco against the Giants. One small way to show how much we love him is to include in this post a ridiculously large photo of him rocking the eff out after his two-run ding-dong Wednesday night at Turner Field.

The old school Atltana Braves third baseman left Thursday night's 2-0 win over the Chicago Cubs in the third inning after straining his right oblique muscle. Jones said that he started to feel a little discomfort during pre-game batting practice, but decided to tough it out like the tough guy he is.

Get well soon Larry!

[USA Today] | [Talking Chop] | [7th Inning Stache]

Season Previews: Atlanta Braves

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing with our preview of the National League East, here are the Atlanta Braves.



The Atlanta Braves
Could pose an actual threat
To the Phillies' reign.

Chipper Jones is old made his
Big league debut when I was
Fourteen. (Stop the math!)

Season Previews: New York Mets

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right with our preview of the National League East, here are the oft-injured New York Mets.

Johan Santana!
He's back and in full effect
John Maine is awesome

Pelfrey and Perez
Are complimented by Niese
K-Rod slams the door

Reyes wants to play
But there's something wrong with him
So Cora instead

Francoeur saves the Mets!
Jason Bay out in left field
Pagán in center

Rod Barajas is
So much better than Blanco
Hope he stays healthy

Sammy Gervacio Out of Commission

It's going to be a while before we see Sammy Gervacio's awesome wind-up again. Hopefully we didn't jinx him with our rave review of his amazing delivery.

The Houston Astros reliever is headed the the 15-day disabled list with his strained rotator cuff.

During the eighth inning of Wednesday's 10-4 loss to the San Francisco Giants at Minute Maid Park, Gervacio fielded a sac bunt by Eli Whiteside awkwardly, allowing Juan Uribe to score and Whiteside to end up at third. After the throwing error, the righty composed himself and got Eugenio Velez to ground out right to him.

After an RBI single by Aaron Rowand, Gervacio threw a wild pitch to Edgar Renteria and his arm pretty much fell off. Wilton Lopez will be called up to take Gervacio's place on the roster, and that bums us out.

Get well soon Sammy!

[MLB] | [Houston Chronicle] | [Crawfish Boxes]

Season Previews: Philadelphia Phillies

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Beginning with our preview of the National League East, here are the Philadelphia Phillies.

They lost the World
Series, so much for repeats.
Ugh. Yankees Schmankees.

Cliff Lee is gone but
The Doc is in. Halladay
Will be their new ace.

Chase Utley is still
In our top ten hottest. Yum.
Cole Hamels is too!

Polanco is back,
Rollins and Howard round out
A scary infield.

Victorino, Werth,
Ibanez, and Francisco
Roaming the outfield.

Season Previews: Houston Astros

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Polishing off our preview of the National League Central, here are the Houston Astros.

Kazuo Matsui,
Carlos Lee and Hunter Pence
You've heard of those guys

But what about Bourn
Manzella and Keppinger?
We all know Feliz

Wandy Rodriguez
Brett Myers is number three
Oswalt is the ace

Matt Lindstrom closes
Ooh! Sammy Gervacio
We love his wind-up!

Screw 'Em!

Five-year-old internet sensation Joshua Sacco, best known for his rendition of Herb Brooks' pregame Miracle speech on Youtube, hits the big time at Fenway Park.

Adorable.

P.S. Our 2,000th follower on Twitter will receive a Milwaukee Brewers bobblehead... which may or may not be a racing sausage. Tell your buddies, only 50 more to go!

Season Previews: Cincinnati Reds

Since the season is already underway, we should probably keep moving along with our Season Previews, which we were apparently supposed to finish before Opening Day... Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League Central, here are the Cincinnati Reds.

Rock n' roll motto:
Rock out with your Bronson out
He gets all the chicks

Homer Bailey and
Johnny Cueto on the staff
With Aaron Harang

And then there's Chapman
A youngster at 23
Hope to see him soon

Cabrera at short
Scott Rolen is the new guy
Votto mafia!

Jay Bruce is awesome
Brandon Phillips at second
We like Drew Stubbs too

Top Ten Most Awesome Things From Opening Day

Opening Day. It's like Christmas and your birthday all rolled into one. We waited all winter long for it and when it finally got here, it didn't disappoint. Whether your team won or lost, it was still a great day filled with baseball. Here are the top ten things that (at least in my opinion) made Opening Day worth the long, dreary wait..

10. Roy Halladay struck out 9 batters in his Phillies debut. Granted, those batters played for the Nationals and my grandma could have probably struck out 6 of them, but still. Phillies phans got a preview of his awesomeness and what the Doc has in store for them this season. Cliff who?

9. Diamondbacks shortstop Stephen Drew hit an inside-the-park homerun. Thanks to a combination of the overhang in centerfield, a great hit, and the right amount of wind, the ball was virtually unplayable for San Diego centerfielder Tony Gwynn, Jr., and left fielder Kyle Blanks had to come try to keep it a triple. Fail.

Sammy Gervacio: a Style All His Own

Earlier this Spring, I looked everywhere for a video of Sammy Gervacio's crazy setup before his delivery. Then I gave up.

Thanks to Walkoff Walk's Kris Liakos (who's not only funny and knowledgeable on the topic of baseball, but also one hot potato) I am now able to share with you the hilarity of this Houston Astros reliever's style. It's a shame this video isn't just a little bit longer, because he does this sweet move before every single pitch. No lie.

P.S. Feel free to ridicule Sooze's Minnesota Twins season preview on the excellent fantasy baseball site Razzball.

100 Years of Throwing Like a Girl

Happy Opening Day baseball fans!!!

Today, which should be a National Holiday in our opinion, (get on that Obama!) marks the 100th anniversary of the ceremonial first pitch. That's an entire century of grown men throwing like a girl.

President Barack Obama tossed out the ceremonial first pitch for the Washington Nationals this afternoon, donning a Chicago White Sox cap. The ball sailed just a bit outside (okay, it was way off target) of the glove of Ryan Zimmerman, who managed to make the catch.

Balls for Charity... and Plaques

Our buddy John Bonnes of Twins Geek passed along this press release with the hopes that some of the Minnesota Twins fans who read BLB may be as interested in this as we are...

To celebrate the Inaugural Season of Target Field as well as to raise awareness and money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation® of Minnesota, which grants wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions, Nikco Sports will be donating two unique pieces of Twins history...

"A limited edition baseball featuring a stunning color photo of the new Target Field on one of the panels, and important historic information printed on the other panels, along with the official Inaugural Season logo is being produced to commemorate the first game at the new ballpark on April 12. Only 5,000 baseballs will be made, priced at $39.95, and each comes with a handsome acrylic display case. From each sale, $4 will go to the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Minnesota.

Season Previews: Pittsburgh Pirates

With Spring Training underway, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League Central, here are the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Oh Lastings Milledge
I wonder if he still raps
He's super gangstuh

McCutchen and Jones
Will join him in the outfield
Maybe Delwyn Young?

Daniel McCutchen
Is unbelievably good
Yeah we have a crush

Duke, Morton, Maholm
and Ohlendorf are starters
Dotel shuts the door