Tragedy Befalls Kansas City

Tragedy has struck Kaufmann Stadium.

Sluggerrr the Lion, mascot for the Kansas City Royals, is accused of mauling a fan at a September 2009 game. Ok. So he didn't maul the guy, he merely attacked him with his weiner. Tee hee.

Taking cues from Minnesota fans amidst Chuck Knoblauch, Sluggerrr threw a hot dog that allegedly detatched a fan's retina and eventually brought on cataracts. What actually happened is Sluggerrr had been using an air gun to shoot hot dogs into the stands, and then started throwing the weiners by hand.

The fan is now suing the team for $25,000 for negligence and battery because they apparently "failed to adequately train its agents ... in the proper method in which to throw hot dogs into the stands at Kauffman Stadium."

Sluggerrr has yet to issue a statement.



Sooze said...

Holy crap, that's almost as much as their payroll!

Bassmaster said...

dick jokes!

IFChris said...

Zach Grienke needs to run away from this franchise as fast as he possibly can. I'm honestly surprised it wasn't him that got hit in the eye.

JimCrikket said...

Two years ago, I was also attacked by Slugerrrr while attending a Royals/Twins game. Proudly wearing my Twins jersey/cap and sitting in the back row of the first section of seats behind home plate, Slugerrrr spotted me and (silently) mauled and harassed me (much to the pleasure of Royals fans all around)! While I did not suffer a detached retina, had I known there was profit to be made from leveling a charge, I certainly would have been willing to claim Slugerrrr "assaulted" me, as well!

Sluggerrr Sucks said...

Sluggerrr has obviously been out of control for years now. Maybe they should consider replacing him with a tornado or something else Kansas is famous for. Maybe a piece of wheat, or a yappy terrior named Toto.

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