Merry Christmas Ladies: Grady Sizemore Poses Half Naked for You

Hey there! I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving weekend, I know I did. Anyway, if you're a woman (...or a gay man) and a baseball fan, there's no doubt you've heard about the sexy myspace-style bathroom pictures of Grady Sizemore which were stolen from his inbox.

If you haven't seen them yet, it's our pleasure to bring the beauties to your attention. Here's one to wet your whistle, and here's the rest. Let this be a lesson to all you guys and gals out there who are considering emailing risque photos of yourself to your significant other. DUMB IDEA. Unless you'd like other folks to possibly see them someday.

P.S. To those of you who've already come to the brilliant conclusion that we are horrible people for stooping so low as to objectify the Cleveland Indians centerfielder, I say... it's not the first time, and it most certainly won't be the last.

[AP] | [Busted Coverage]

Athletes Over For Thanksgiving

After being invited to partake in Steady Burn’s Thanksgiving Menu live draft this morning, it occurred to me that I honestly would’nt mind wrapping Joe Mauer in some bacon and having him for Thanksgiving supper. Then that idea snowballed into this post you’re suffering through right now! Who would I really want to invite over for the big meal if I had the opportunity to choose from some athletes? Um, still Joe Mauer.

Then I asked my buddies who they would choose, and this is that they came up with…

Continue reading and comment on this story at Sports Untapped.

Albert Pujols Walks Away With NL MVP

Albert Pujols, hands down the best player in baseball (the ESPYs said so,) was unanimously nominated as the National League’s Most Valuable Player this afternoon by a panel of writers from the BBWAA.

The St. Louis Cardinals first baseman was chosen first out of ten choices on all 32 ballots, which is exactly as it should have been. Sure, the NL has some terrific hitters, but none hold a candle to Prince Albert. This season, he hit .327 with 47 bombs and 135 RBIs, along with a league-leading .443 on-base percentage and NL-best .658 slugging percentage.

Continue reading this story at Sports Untapped.

Man Muscles Dominates MVP Voting

Joe Mauer  is your 2009 American League Most Valuable Player. And rightfully so!

Receiving 27 of 28 first-place tallies, Man Muscles nearly swept the voting. Mark Teixeira was second and his New York Yankees teammate Derek Jeter finished third behind the Minnesota Twins catcher while Detroit Tigers' first baseman Miguel Cabrera finished fourth.

Cabrera received the one and only first place vote that did not go to Mauer. For the record, that BBWAA writer is an idiot.

After missing the entire month of April, Mauer batted .365 with 28 home runs and 96 RBIs to earn his record-setting third batting title as a backstop. That's right, he's the only catcher in the history of the game to win three batting championships, and just the tenth player to ever accomplish the feat. What a badass.

His 191 hits included 30 doubles and one triple, with a .444 OBP and .587 slugging percentage to aid the Twins in an improbable September run to the playoffs... where they were promptly swept by the eventual World Champion Yankees.

The 26-year-old Minnesota native could leave the team like every other successful former Twin has done when he has the opportunity to become a free agent after his $12.5 million 2010 season. Minnesota brass, however, are expected to try to sign him to a new deal, in which Mauer has offered an undisclosed "home-town discount." That's pretty sweet for the Twins since he'd be getting a gazillion dollars anywhere else.

Check back to read about Albert Pujols' National League MVP award, which will be announced Tuesday afternoon.

[USA Today] | [Twinkie Talk] | [Jorge Says No!]

Tim Lincecum Wins Cy Young #2

Tim Lincecum has earned his second consecutive National League Cy Young Award after yet another dominating season on the mound.

Continue reading and comment on this story at Sports Untapped.

Welcome Back Conor Jackson

Despite falling off the radar due to a bad case of valley fever, we haven't swayed in our love for Conor Jackson.

The Arizona Diamondbacks first baseman/outfielder, who missed the last five months of what turned out to be a really crappy season for his team, has been tearing it up in the Dominican Republic.

Jackson returned to the states Monday night after hitting .425 with two home runs, 16 RBIs and nine stolen bases in 23 games for Leones del Escogido. That's great news since valley fever, caused by fungi in desert soil and contracted primarily in the Southwest, can become extremely serious.

Welcome back, hot stuff. We get valley fever just from watching you in action.

[Yahoo! Sports] | [Diary of a Diehard] | [Core Contrarian]

You've Come A Long Way, Zack Greinke

Awards season continues with the American League Cy Young announced this afternoon. Hopefully none of you were surprised when it was given to the only logical pitcher: Mr. Badass himself, Zack Greinke. Man, we love this kid.

The Kansas City Royals right-hander deserved this honor more than anyone -- even lights out righty Felix Hernandez, who took second in the voting. Greinke was shorter on wins than your average 19-21 game winners of the past, but his season was chock-full of domination. He and his damn-near unhittable slider went 16-8 with a big league-best 2.16 ERA and 242 strikeouts. For the sake of comparison, King Felix went 19-5 with a 2.49 ERA for the Seattle Mariners.

Greinke, who is getting hitched this weekend, agreed to a $38 million, four-year contract last winter and will receive a $100,000 bonus for winning. He landed 25 of 28 first-place votes for 134 points by the BBWAA while Hernandez drew 80 points with mostly second-place votes.

The humble and silent but deadly hurler quit the game for a month-and-a-half back in 2006 due to a social anxiety disorder. He has since made the cover of Sports Illustrated, was selected to the 2009 All-Star team, received the 2009 Bullet Rogan award, and also the player's choice Pitcher of the Year honor.

Funny, some folks in KC didn't get the memo. Be sure to check back tomorrow when the National League winner is announced. We hope that honor goes to the most adorable pothead in MLB, though it'll likely be handed to one of two St. Louis Cardinals hurlers.

[KC Star] | [Walkoff Walk] | [Kings of Kauffman]

Pedro's Agent Blames Flu For Sickly Game 6

According to his agent, Pedro Martinez wants to pitch a full season next year.

Fern Cuza told FOX Sports that the old school righty is 100% healthy for the first time in three years and that pitching for the Philadelphia Phillies this postseason "rejuvenated" his client. Rejuvenated, despite that mangled Game 6 when he gave up four runs on three hits with two walks in just four innings, fanning five New York Yankees. Cuza blames that unfortunate outing on the flu.

Pitching with the flu with the World Series on the line, eh? Slick.

"I think he lost 13 pounds," Cuza proclaimed. "When I saw him in Miami last week, he was still battling it. He said, 'I don’t know what hit me.' I don’t know how he took the mound that night. I didn’t realize how sick he was."

Obviously, neither did Charlie Manuel.

The 38-year-old free agent signed with the Phillies midseason, and aided in their National League Championship. He went 5-1 with a 3.63 ERA over nine regular season starts before pitching pretty damn well in the playoffs. Until the lackluster Game 6, that is.

[FOX Sports]

Coghlan, Bailey Rookies of the Year

Awards Season the most exciting and anticipated time of the MLB offseason, and we're just getting started with Monday's announcement of the 2009 Rookies of the Year among a crowded field of new talent.

Florida Marlins left fielder Chris Coghlan and Oakland Athletics closer Andrew Bailey both had spectacular rookie seasons in the big leagues... so did Philadelphia Phillies pitcher J.A. Happ.

Continue reading and comment on this story at Sports Untapped.

Can We Please Give Derek Jeter Some More Awards?

Just some more shiny things for his trophy case would be great. If we could go ahead and embed some diamonds in there, too. Maybe some engraving would be nice, as well.

The New York Yankees shortstop, who is not even the best shortstop on his team, let alone the American League, received a Gold Glove for his position this season to go along with his 2009 Hank Aaron Award, handed out to the league’s top hitter… which sadly, was not him.

Continue reading and comment on this story at SportsUntapped. Have a great weekend!

NL Gold Gloves Awards Announced

Ryan Zimmerman earned his first career Gold Glove on Wednesday, succeeding a buddy from his youth, New York Mets' third baseman David Wright. Back when Zimmerman was a shortstop in high school, the two were teammates on a youth team.

Zim led all big league third basemen with 325 assists, becoming just the second Washington player to win the award, joining catcher Earl Battey of the Senators, who won the honor in 1960. Zim's award is especially awesome since he came from a team with the worst fielding percentage in all of baseball. The Nationals also led the league in errors with 143. Awesome.

The Philadelphia Phillies nabbed two Gold Glove positions with Jimmy Rollins at shortstop (his third) and centerfeilder Shane Victorino getting his second straight award. St. Louis Cardinals backstop Yadier Molina and San Diego Padres first baseman Adrian Gonzalez also became second-time winners.

One More Year With Vin Scully

Vin Scully, by far our favorite baseball announcer, has decided to stick around the broadcast booth in 2010 to do what he does best: announce Los Angeles Dodgers games.

Turning 82 later this month, Scully's tenure with the Dodgers is the longest of any current sports broadcaster with the same team. In fact, he's so awesome that the first three innings of his games are simulcast on the radio.

Rawlings Hands Out Gold Glove Hardware

Even though baseball season is over, that doesn’t mean the excitement has gone along with it.

Rawlings has handed out their 2009 Gold Glove awards (they’ve been doing so since 1957) and a couple of them went to World Series Champion New York Yankees. Managers and coaches make selections before the season ends, but are not allowed to choose members of their own clubs, of course.

Continue reading and comment on this story at Sports Untapped.

Offseason Movin' and Shakin'

Sure, there are other sports like football, hockey and basketball to enjoy while you're waiting for the return of major league baseball. It's hard, we know. But the offseason is the critical time when your team's general managers make their moves -- smart or not -- in an attempt to inch closer to their ultimate goal: a World Series Championship. That is the ultimate goal, right? Sometimes we wonder.

So here's what's up. The Boston Red Sox have agreed to a $5.5 million, two-year contract with old school knuckleballer Tim Wakefield, giving him a $1.5 million raise from his perpetual annual club option.

We Heart You, J.J. Hardy

J.J. Hardy has officially become the second-smoking-hottest third-smoking-hottest Minnesota Twin (second and third to Man Muscles and Nickgasm, of course) after being traded away from the Milwaukee Brewers for outfielder and all-around spazatron Carlos Gomez.

Welcome to Minnesota, big guy.

More on this and other Hot Stove goodness after I stop drooling.

[MLB] | [Dugout Central] | [Brew Crew Ball] | [Twinkie Talk]

Tim Lincecum Won A Cy Young... On Weed Man

Update: Make that two Cy Youngs... on weed man. IN A ROW!

Surprise! Little Timmy is a stoner.

The San Francisco Giants ace was pulled over Friday going 74 mph on Interstate 5 -- where the speed limit is 60 -- near Vancouver, Washington. He was going to be cited for speeding anyway before the officer smelled pot when Little Timmy rolled down the window.

I like to imagine a huge cloud of smoke rolling out of the car, myself.

According to the state trooper who busted him, the Cy Young Award winner forked over an 1/8 bag and a pipe. He was ticketed and released, and is scheduled to be arraigned November 23 in Clark County District Court.

Umm... we all saw this one coming, right? Right. MLB odds are, we will see the obligatory "crappy role model" public apology soon.

[San Francisco Chronicle]

Joe Girardi: Good Samaritan

New York Yankees skipper Joe Girardi polished off his first career World Series victory by dashing to the aid of a car crash victim.

New York police said Girardi pulled over on the side of the road to help a distressed woman who had lost control of her vehicle and crashed into a wall around 2:30am on a Westchester County parkway. He called 911 and reported the car as a mangled mess, and refrained from asking the lady if she realized who he was.

"She had no idea who I was," Girardi said. "I think the important thing is, you know, obviously there’s a lot of joy in what we do, but we can’t forget to be human beings where we help others out. I think that’s the most important thing we can do in life."

Right Through The Very Heart Of It

New York, New York.

After waiting nine long years for Championship #27, the New York Yankees poured out of the dugout to celebrate their World Series victory as the last groundball of the season was scooped up and lobbed to first base for the final out.

Hideki Matsui tied a World Series record with six RBIs, while Andy Pettitte earned the win on just three days rest as the Yankees took Game 6 away from the Philadelphia Phillies with a final score of 7-3 Wednesday night.

Continue reading and comment on this story at Sports Untapped.

The Last Baseball Game of the Season

Congratulations to the New York Yankees, this season's World Series Champions. The last day of the baseball season is a sad one for everyone. Everyone except the fans whose team just won the ring.

The Bronx Bombers won their 27th World Series title Wednesday night -- their first in the $1.5 billion new Yankee Stadium, obviously -- by beating the Philadelphia Phillies 7-3 in Game 6 of the 105th World Series.

And if you're a giant nerd, you might even compare this World Series to the Empire Strikes Back.

In any event, we'll be back with the gory details later Thursday afternoon, along with our saddest "There's Always Next Year" yet.

Vicente Padilla Caps Himself in the Thigh...Maybe

Los Angeles Dodgers right-hander Vicente Padilla shot himself in the thigh while hunting in Nicaragua.

It's only funny because he's not seriously injured... or dead.

There are a few different stories floating around out there as to what actually went down. According to media reports in Nicaragua, Padilla was injured at a shooting range. At least two other reports stated that he was accidentally shot by a bodyguard who was attempting to fix Padilla's gun. USA Today says the gunshot wound was self-inflicted.

Regardless of how it happened, he's going to be just fine, as the bullet mearly grazed his skin and he was in and out of the hospital in 40 minutes. His agent, Adam Katz, was informed by Dodgers general manager Ned Coletti that the team is interested in re-signing him for next season, which may be a pleasant surprise after his Game 5 clusterfu*k.

The Clifton & Chutley Show

Man, Chase Utley is good at hitting baseballs over fences.

Stealing the glory right out from under Cliff Lee, the Philadelphia Phillies second baseman nailed not one, but two home runs in his team's 8-6 victory over the New York Yankees in Game 5 of the World Series.

Continue reading and comment on this story at Sports Untapped.

Chase Utley Is Pretty Good At Baseball

Not to take anything away from the entire Philadelphia Phillies rotation and lineup, but Chase Utley can really swing a bat.

In a must-win situation for his team, Chutley launched a 4-seam fastball from New York Yankees starter A.J. Burnett to the right field seats in the bottom of the first inning to give the reigning Champs a 3-1 lead. Why is this special? It marks his fourth longball of the World Series and fifth of this postseason, which is the most in MLB history for a second baseman.

That my friends, is what we like to refer to as badass.

Update: Holy crap. Utley has tied Hall of Famer Reggie Jackson's record for most longballs in a World Series, giving the Phils a 7-2 lead when he jacked a 3-2 fastball from Yanks reliever Phil Coke with nobody out in the seventh. Five bombs in four games for Chutley. Wow.

You Can’t Catch Johnny Damon!

A day after the New York Yankees came back to win Game 3, Johnny Damon became the difference-maker with a two-out, ninth-inning, game-saving performance.

The Yankees took a 3-1 World Series lead with a 7-4 victory over the Philadelphia Phillies just after the reigning champs had started a rally in the seventh inning. Chase Utley took CC Sabathia’s 107th pitch of the evening into the right-field bleachers to make it a one-run game on his third bomb of the Series.

Continue reading and comment on this story at Sports Untapped.