That Sucking Sound Was Eric Wedge

What a horrible few years the 64-92 Cleveland Indians have had.

Eric Wedge will finish out what's left of the season, but will not be fulfilling the final year of his contract. And the rest of the coaching staff is going with him.

When a manager gets fired, this question often arises: Who's fault is it really? Well, they've lost 20 of their last 25 games and recently went on a torrid 11-game skid; and after seven seasons as the Tribe's skipper, Wedge guided them to only one playoff appearance.

Just sayin'.

Your Team Sucks Haiku Contest

Babes Love Baseball has teamed up with TBS Hot Corner to hold a contest to see who can write the best haiku for grieving fans whose teams are already or soon-to-be done for the 2009 season.

Be thoughtful or crass, sympathetic or sarcastic. We don't care. We're just going to choose the one we like best -- from the comments section -- and pick the winner on Monday, October 5th.

The TBS Hot Corner Prize Pack includes an Adidas Laptop Bag, a Nike Golf Longsleeve pullover, a sleeve of Nike ONE golf balls and a 16 oz. Tervis Tumbler. The BLB Prize Pack includes a BLB hat and t-shirt.

Okay, go.

Update: You win, Bassmaster. First, your haiku was fact-based. Second, it was not about football. Well done.

Chuck Knoblauch: Wife Beater

I guess we sort of already knew that Chuck Knoblauch was a giant dickhead, but now there's more evidence to support our theory.

The former big league infielder, who won a World Series with the Minnesota Twins before becoming a cheating New York Yankee, has been charged with assaulting his common-law wife. More specifically, he hit her in the face and then choked her in their Houston home this past Friday.

Robin Yount: Palatable

Robin Yount was pretty awesome back in the day... but lemonade?

Yeah, it was delicious.

The Last Week of the Season

It's that time again, the last week of the season. It's a sad occasion for many fans, nearing the end of the road for their favorite team. For others, it's a time of nail-biting excitement and anticipation. Regardless of the outcome, this year's postseason is sure to be full of surprises.

The Atlanta Braves have nosed their way into the 2009 playoff picture, completing a three-game sweep of the Washington Nationals with a 6-3, 10-inning win on Sunday, their sixth straight victory and 14th in 16 games.

Your Mom is an Underachiever

Chicago White Sox general manager Ken Williams is not impressed.

He echoed his and manager Ozzie Guillen's displeasure with the efforts of the team on Wednesday, calling the players "underachievers" and accusing them of not "playing up to their capabilities" after being swept by the Minnesota Twins in what used to be a heated pennant race.

Williams made a handful of genius observations, including the one where the Sox should clean up their defense after making 108 errors this season. Really? He also suggested that their offense needs some improvement after being shut out 13 times. Very insightful.

I just can't stand it when GMs call players on their team "quitters" at the end of the season; not everyone makes the playoffs. Jim Hendry gets a pass though, that was sorta valid. So far, Guillen and the entire coaching staff are welcome back for the 2010 season.  From Williams:

You give 100% effort to close this season with dignity and the best fashion you can and so far we haven’t done that. I know who’s quit and who hasn’t.

Yikes.

Anyway, here's a quote from catcher A.J. Pierzynski, who will probably get beaned in Chicago's weekend series against the Detroit Tigers, if not for this remark, for his stupid hair.

Just frustrating because [the Tigers] are trying to let us back in it and they're trying basically to whoever wants it, us or Minnesota, Detroit is trying to give it away. They keep losing games and they're keeping us in it by not winning. That's what's so frustrating. Because it seems like it's there but we can't do anything about it.

Plunk!

[Hardball] | [Foul Balls] | [Obama Chronicles]

Good Riddance Milton Bradley

Seriously, someone out there should start a blog and devote it to the mishappenings of Milton Bradley and his crazy, misunderstood world.

The banished Chicago Cubs outfielder formally apologized Wednesday for his inappropriate behavior and recent negative comments which led to general manager Jim Hendry’s decision to kick him out of the clubhouse for the remainder of the season, and possibly out of Chicago for good.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Zack Greinke is a Bad Ass

Zack Greinke would have -- at the very least -- 20 wins by now if he pitched for a team that would give him a decent amount of run support. Unfortunately, such is not the case for anyone in the 63-88 Kansas City Royals rotation.

Nevertheless, the lights-out right-hander reinforced his Cy Young bid by holding the Boston Red Sox to just two hits over six scoreless innings Tuesday night, aiding his team to a rare 5-1 victory.

Greinke (15-8) is 3-0 with a minuscule 0.26 ERA in his five most recent starts, surrendering 18 hits and just one earned run over 35 innings, while lowering his big league-leading ERA to 2.08. Man, what a badass.

Manager Trey Hillman admitted his bias, "I’ve seen all his starts. I have a very difficult time believing there is anybody better in the major leagues, that’s as good a pitcher as Zack Greinke is in the year 2009."

Twins Give Gardy Victory #700

Babes Love Baseball would like to give an ever-loving shout out to Minnesota Twins manager Ron Gardenhire, who earned career manageral victory #700 Tuesday night with a 8-6 victory over the Chicago White Sox.

After the win, the Twins toasted their skipper on the milestone that gives him a 700-585 record over eight seasons, leaving the club 2.5 games behind the AL Central-leading Detroit Tigers with 11 games left to play.

Way to go, Gardy.

[MLB.com] | [RealGM] | [Twins Killings]

Yankees Clinch, Ho Hum

Are the New York Yankees the only team to not high five each other over champagne after a playoff clinch? Really, don't get excited or anything guys.

After his team blew a 5-0 lead over the Los Angeles Angels Tuesday night, Alex Rodriguez (who always seems to have his hand on some guys' rear) homered and drove in three runs including the tie-breaking sacrifice fly in the ninth.

Astros Can Cecil Cooper

The Houston Astros apparently couldn't wait any longer (until after the 2009 season for example) to fire manager Cecil Cooper.

After the team made the move on Monday, they promoted third base coach Dave Clark as interim manager... which didn't make a damn bit of difference, as the Astros lost 7-3 (their eighth straight defeat) during Clark's big league-managing debut.

Enjoy the next two weeks of suckiness, Dave.

[Dueling Couches] | [FanHouse] | [Baseball Reflections]

Cubs Tire of Milton Bradley Shenanigans

Milton Bradley has been suspended for the remainder of the season after Chicago Cubs brass finally decided they were fed up with the constant drama.

Technically speaking, the whiny outfielder was disciplined for "conduct detrimental to the team" after general manager Jim Hendry caught wind of a negative quote from Bradley in the Illinois' Arlington Daily Herald.

Bradley has two long years remaining on a three-year, $30 million contract that he signed as a free agent last offseason, but Hendry says he's not sure if the relationship is salvageable. Who can blame him? Besides the fact that MB more or less sucks these days, after being scratched from Saturday’s lineup with a "sore left knee", he was quoted as saying "You understand why they haven’t won in 100 years here."

Geez Milt, everyone knows they haven't brought a World Series to Chicago in 100 years because of the black cat, the billy goat, and that jackass Steve Bartman. Good riddance to your lousy .257 batting average.

[ESPN] | [Walkoff Walk] | [Jorge Says No!]

Say It Ain't So, Chipper Jones

After winning the 2008 National League batting title, Chipper Jones has shaved 100 points off his batting average, which has him contemplating retirement. Kinda sad.

The 37-year-old Atlanta Braves hot corner hit a career-best .364 last year, marking his third straight season batting over .320. This year however, Chipper's numbers have plummeted to .269 since June 9th, where his average peaked at .335. So is it just poor mechanics or another nagging injury ruining his groove?

Jones winced in obvious pain after striking out as a pinch-hitter Wednesday night against the New York Mets, aggravating his strained left groin muscle. He is considered day-to-day at this point.

The career .308 hitter signed a three-year, $42-million contract extension back in March that will run through 2012, but he says he might just hang up his cleats if he can’t find his sweet swing again.

If I back up this year with the same kind of year next year, I don’t want to play the game.The game is not fun to me when I’m not playing up to my standards.

He's right though. Everyone knows it's not fun to suck at something. Besides, maybe it's time he finally settles down and lives happily ever after with me.

[Braves] | [MLB Rumors] | [Sabernomics]

Mike Hampton: The Unluckiest Man Alive

All Mike Hampton has ever wanted to do is throw a baseball from a major league mound. Apparently, the forces of nature, God, or whatever is in charge of his destiny has made that virtually impossible to do for any extended period of time.

The injury-prone, papier-mâché lefty will miss the entire 2010 season due to a torn rotator cuff in his pitching shoulder along with some other unspecified damage... like his bruised ego.

It was beginning to look like Hampton's hard luck was through, but now at age 37, Hampton is approaching the end of what could have been an amazing career. Signed this season by the Houston Astros, he went 7-10 with a 5.30 ERA over 112 innings, which is considered leaps and bounds since he hasn't made that many starts (21) since his 29 appearances with the Atlanta Braves in 2004.

Canadian Crusher Out for the Season

Due to a stress fracture in his lower back, Justin Morneau’s season is over.

The Minnesota Twins first baseman hurt himself while attempting a Nick Punto-style headfirst slide into first base last Friday, but has been playing through the pain much longer than that.

The good news for my Canadian Crusher and the Twins is that he doesn't need surgery. In fact, all he's supposed to do is rest for the next few months. Morneau, batting .274 on the season with 30 bombs and 100 RBIs says he's "99% sure" he'll be ready to play at his team's spankin' new stadium this Spring.

And I Got Mad Hits Like I Was Rod Carew

Ichiro Suzuki, being the total badass that he is, reached his ninth consecutive 200-hit season Sunday night after the second game of a double header against the Texas Rangers.

No one in the history of baseball has ever had that many 200-hit seasons in a row, now that the Seattle Mariners right fielder has passed up the legendary Wee Willie Keeler, who enjoyed eight consecutive 200-hit seasons from 1894-1901. Even more impressive? That record was 108 years old.

Post game, teammate Ken Griffey Jr. picked up Ichiro, slung him over his shoulder and carried him to the showers, where teammates then treated him to a beer shower.

Hot.

Ichiro is now batting .353 on the season with 9 homers and 40 RBIs.
[Reuters] | [Every Joe] | [The Hardball Times]

Marlon Byrd is an Animal

Marlon Byrd set a Texas Rangers franchise record Tuesday after nailing seven hits in a double header against the Cleveland Indians.

After suffering through fifteen scoreless innings, the Rangers took the first game 11-9 and the nightcap 10-5 to pull within two games of the Boston Red Sox for the American League wild card. They should send Eric Wedge a thank you card.

Giants vs. Phillies: What a Game

Pitcher's duels are so great.

Picture this... youngster Tim Lincecum: verified strike-out machine and freak of nature vs. Pedro Martinez: future Hall of Famer in vintage form. That's exactly what the world got Thursday night.

Pedro tossed seven impressive innings, fanning a season-high nine batters in his fifth start since signing with the Philadelphia Phillies during the All-Star break. The old school righty surrendered one run and five hits, didn't walk a soul, and threw just 87 pitches in his longest outing since last August with the New York Mets.

Jonathan Papelbon: Speed It Up, Grandpa

This whole situation makes me chuckle. Jonathan Papelbon has been fined $5,000 by the almighty MLB for once again taking way too long with the dramatics of throwing his first pitch.

The newish pace-of-game rule allows pitchers 2 minutes and 20 seconds from the final out of the previous inning to toss their first pitch. Then, they get 12 more seconds to throw once the batter steps into the box. Nearly two-and-a-half minutes should be enough time for a closer to prepare himself for the one inning per game he actually stands on the mound.

Apparently not.

The Boston Red Sox closer was also fined back in June for holding up the show, which he was none too happy about after the $1,000 he was charged for that mistake. Papelboner joked:

"After this, I don’t know, man. I think they’re going to call my parole officer and put me away."

At least he has a sense of humor about the situation. I'd be pretty pissed if I had to fork over Five Grand for being a slowpoke.

Papelboner has 34 saves in 37 opportunities this season, sporting a kickass 1.84 ERA.

[AP]

Albert Pujols: Slow Down 10-Speed

Holy smokes, Albert Pujols.

Before drawing his major league-leading 40th intentional walk Tuesday night (making way for a Matt Holliday go-ahead longball) Pujols smashed his 42nd home run of the season in the St. Louis Cardinals' 7-6 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers.

The perennial All-Star first baseman is batting .320 on the season with 111 RBI and 104 runs scored. Is there anything he can't do?

We Can Love Jim Thome Again!

Jim Thome has had an awesome career, and is completely loveable, but for most of his career,  American League Central fans have had to hate him. Well, they may now rejoice, because he's out of the AL again. (Well, rejoice, unless you are a Rockies or Giants fan...)

Thome was traded by the White Sox to the Dodgers last night for minor league infielder Justin Fuller. The Dodgers also aquired right handed pitcher Jon Garland from the Diamondbacks for a player to be named later. The Dodgers are looking to beef up their roster due to the Rockies and the Giants all of the sudden lurking up on them in the standings - as of this morning, both teams are only 5.5 games behind the Dodgers.

It's still unclear what position Thome will actually play for his new team. He's been strictly a DH for the last couple of seasons, and hasn't played first base full time since 2004. I'm sure they'll figure it out somehow, they need his bat (and his 564 home runs).

Welcome back to that little place in my heart, Jimmy.