What's That Sucking Sound?

Oh, it's just Milton Bradley, who's been dropped from third to sixth in the Chicago Cubs batting order.

The move was made prior to Monday's game against the Pittsburgh Pirates, where he hiked his average up to .238 after going 2-for-4 with an RBI. The switch-hitting outfielder, known for his friendly, fun-loving team spirit, is a shoddy 3-for-20 on their current road trip.

Skipper Lou Piniella will give him Tuesday and maybe even Wednesday off to work with hitting coach Von Joshua on his left-handed swing.

Speaking of the Cubs, check out The Friendly Blogfine's latest Random Retro Cub: Hector Villanueva. Great mustache.

[Bleacher Nation] | [FanHouse] | [Sons of Steve Garvey]

We Barely Had Time to Miss You, Manny

What with Manny Ramirez being in the news every couple days for saying something brilliant, we barely even had time to miss him. Has it really been almost 50 games? My, how the time flies.

The suspended Los Angeles Dodgers slugger played in his final minor league rehab game Monday night for the Class-A San Bernadino Inland Empire 66ers, going 1-for-3 with an infield single in the leadoff spot as designated hitter and striking out twice for the second game in a row.

For Old Time's Sake

Yes, we've embedded this video before -- two years ago to the day, in fact -- but it's damn funny. Enjoy.

In other news around the blogosphere, you guys have to check out Pyle of List's new adventure. It's the bees knees, and hopefully the future of sports blogging!

Halladay Outpitched By Niemann In Return

Toronto Blue Jays ace Roy Halladay, fresh off the disabled list, was out-dueled by a rookie Monday night in his first game back from resting his man-parts.

Tampa Bay Rays newbie Jeff Niemann (7-4, 3.95 ERA) tossed 7.1 solid innings for his third straight decision, allowing just one run on four hits, walking two and fanning one. That'll do.

One of only four 10-game winners in baseball so far this season, Halladay entered Monday night's game looking for his eighth straight winning decision, which already marked the longest streak in the majors. Instead, he lost for the first time since April 21st, giving the Blue Jays their third consecutive loss, 4-1.

Little Timmy Man-Handles Cardinals

Holy smokes.

Tim Lincecum (I think I'm in love) led his San Francisco Giants to a 10-0 victory Monday night, striking out eight St. Louis Cardinals over nine shutout innings. He walked none and allowed just two hits, dropping his ERA to 2.37 and earning his eighth win of the season. The Freak leads the pack in strikeouts with 132 already, which is seven ahead of the next guy, Atlanta Braves righty Javier Vazquez.

Travis Ishikawa lent his bat to the Cardinals' sixth loss in their last eight games with a three-run shot in the third inning off starter Brad Thompson. This put the Giants ahead 4-0 before they busted the sucker wide open with a five-run seventh off stunned rookie Clayton Mortensen in his major league debut. Welcome to the big leagues, buddy.

Way To Go, Mo

New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera was called to the hill with two outs in the eighth to take down New York Mets pinch-hitter Omir Santos after Brian Bruney had walked the potential tying and go-ahead runs. (Nice work, Bruney.) And Mo got the job done, as usual.

After some top of the ninth shenangians, and due to some double-switching earlier in the game, Rivera came to the plate for just the seventh time in his career to face rivaled closer Francisco Rodriguez with the bases loaded. The guy doesn't even own a batting helmet. The first two pitches were balls, and the next two strikes before the 39-year-old veteran fouled off the fifth. Then came ball three. Then ball four: a walk for Mo and his first RBI ever.

Thirteen years after recording his very first save, Rivera collected his 18th of the season and joined Trevor Hoffman as the only other man in the history of the game to record 500 saves. High five.

[USA Today] | [Right Fielders Women in Sports] | [With Leather]

Baseball Superstitions: Do They Work?

Baseball is a game with a long history of superstitions, and there are some pretty great ones out there. There's the whole not stepping on the baseline thing, the one where no one mentions the no-hitter or perfect game in progress, sporting a rally cap when your team is down in the ninth, and of course, the infamous growing of the post season beard: started by the 1908 White Sox and revived by the 2005 Red Sox. Some have a lucky bat, a special glove, or refuse to sit anywhere but the same spot in the dugout.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Walkoff Walk: BLB's Crush

So... what do you guys have going on today? You're at work? Perfect!

That means you'll have plenty of time to check out how the Minnesota Twins are doing at Miller Park against the Brew Crew when I live-blog the game over at Walkoff Walk, the best baseball blog on the internet not run by women. Complete with video dedications to Man Muscles and lots of pictures to keep the kids entertained. And kids, don't forget your ear muffs. It's PG-13 over there.

Be there or be kicked square in the nuts. 2:05pm EST.

Will Big Tilde's New 'Do Change His Luck?

Some players grow beards. Some don't change their underwear. Some even lob off their luxurious locks. Will this drastic change in Magglio Ordoñez's appearance help his slumping bat? Only time and hair gel will tell.

Lookin' good, Maggs.

Hat tip to WoW's comment section. Good people.

Albuquerque Loves Manny

Los Angeles Dodgers troubled and possibly mentally-ill slugger Manny Ramirez, enjoying a 50-game suspension after failing at life, was welcomed back to baseball with open arms and loud cheers in Albuquerque this week.

Suiting up in #99 for the AAA Dodgers affiliate Isotopes on Tuesday, Manny went hitless in two at bats as they beat the Nashville Sounds, 1-0. Good news for the Isotopes however, as they saw a record crowd of 15,321, most coming to see the grounded outfielder and some even sporting fake dreads.

That's a Record

Apparently, all the Washington Nationals have to do to pack 41,517 people into Nationals Park is play the Boston Red Sox.

In front of a record-setting crowd, the Sox absolutely tore apart the Nats pitching, starting with John Lannan for an 11-3 victory in their first visit to the nation's capitol since 1971. Among chants of "Let's go Red Sox!" Boston batters knocked out 17 hits, including a 4-for-4 Jason Bay's 19th homer of the season. Jacoby Ellsbury also had four hits, highlighted by the first two-triple game of his young career.

Manny Acta had a few complaints about his team's poor performance, including this gem in reference to his shaky bullpen, who surrendered eight runs on eight hits with four walks.

"These guys are supposed to just go out there and keep us in the game," the Nationals skipper said. "And they can’t do it."

No, they really can't.

Also, welcome to the big leagues, Dusty Brown.

[Boston Herald] | [SawxBlog] | [Nats 320] | [SOX & Dawgs]

There's The Greinke We Know and Love

Zack Greinke tossed eight solid innings for his first win in nearly a month Tuesday, leading the Kansas City Royals to a 2-1 victory over the Houston Astros, and snapping a five-game skid for his club who's won just seven of their last 23 games.

Greinke (9-3, 1.90 ERA) surrendered one run in the first before pitching seven shutout innings. He allowed eight hits overall, but not one extra-base hit, and no more than one per inning after the first.

The Royals (30-39) are currently sitting at fourth in the American League Central, 8.5 games behind the division-leading Detroit Tigers, and 1.5 ahead of the struggling Cleveland Indians.

P.S. Much-needed vacations are awesome. So are cabins, lakes, beers and online gambling. I missed you guys lots.

[The Hardball Times] | [Souvenir City] | [Astros County]

Pedro Martinez Would Like You To Know...

he can still throw a baseball.

The Toronto Blue Jays pretty much have no starting pitchers... except Scott Richmond, who was awesome against the Philadelphia Phillies on Wednesday. But we'll just go ahead and pretend he's having some great turn-around for the sake of this argument.

Pudge Is Old School

Ivan Rodriguez caught his 2,227th major league game Wednesday night, passing legendary backstop and all-around ornery bastard Carlton Fisk, to become the all-time leading catcher in games started behind the plate.

And he did so against the team who raised him.

Halladay Hits DL, Richmond Shines

Scott Richmond absolutely lit up the Philadelphia Phillies Wednesday night.

The 29-year-old rookie struck out a career-high 11 over eight innings and got some hefty run support from his Toronto Blue Jays for a 7-1 win. Richmond surrendered just five hits and retired his last 13 batters, which is a nice turn-around after going 0-3 with a 5.81 ERA over his previous five starts.

Mr. T Says Stay In School, Bryce Harper

Bryce Harper is barely old enough to pump gas.

He's barely old enough to stay out past 10pm making out with other teenage girls. Yet, he's apparently old enough to skip his last two years of high school to follow his dream of becoming a major league baseball player.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Bernie is Going to Have a Wicked Hangover Today

What a game. In a game where TWENTY-SIX runs were scored, I'd like to imagine that Bernie Brewer most likely watched the game from his dugout in Miller Park (yes, I know the game was in Cleveland) with the Sausage Race Team, while drinking a case of Miller Lite, drinking a beer for each run scored by either team.

Then toward the end, they realized they were going to run out so they drew straws and made Polish Sausage run out and get them some more. On his walk to the nearest liquor store (don't drink and drive, kids), he passed out in a field, and Bernie and the rest of the Sausages decided to mess with his stuff for not bringing them the rest of their beer.

What's That Sucking Sound?

Manny Acta has apparently made a large enough sucking sound to reach the ears of Washington Nationals President Stan Kasten... because the team's 16-43 record wasn't speaking loud and clear.

Ken Rosenthal has reported that the Nats skipper will be out of work by the end of the week and be replaced by bench coach Jim Riggleman. Neither coaches seem to know anything about anything, however.

Kasten skirted the question of Acta's job security, as well.

We're certainly not satisfied with our record... far from it. We're distraught over it and we're going to consider everything we need to do to make it better.

Still Room On Rockies Bandwagon

Dinger would be the dumbest mascot ever if not for the Phillie Phanatic. No offense, Chutley.

The Colorado Rockies' franchise record for consecutive victories is 11 and they're cruising at one win away right now. They came back from a three-run deficit Friday night to beat the Seattle Mariners 6-5, with right-hander Ubaldo Jimenez (5-6, 3.92 ERA) tossing a complete game.

Jays Totally Screwed Without Halladay

Roy Halladay left two pitches into the fourth inning in Friday's 7-3 loss to the Florida Marlins after apparently pulling a groin muscle. He attempted a warmup toss, but headed to the dugout anyway, marking the first time in 14 starts this season he's failed to pitch at least seven innings.

The initial findings were that the Toronto Blue Jays tall drink of water, having a Cy Youngish season at 10-1 with a 2.53 ERA, had "tweaked" a muscle in his right groin. He didn't report much pain, and is considered day-to-day at this point.

Hopefully for the Jays, he'll be alright. The team is 10-3 when Halladay is on the bump, while they sit at 24-25 when anyone else starts. Leading not only the American League, but all of baseball with 10 wins, the righty has won seven straight decisions and entered Friday having thrown back-to-back complete games. He also ranks first in innings with 103, and is in the top five in ERA, strikeouts, complete games and win percentage.

Skipper Cito Gaston will skip the 2003 Cy Young winner's regularly-scheduled start at Philadelphia this Thursday and hold onto him until Saturday at Washington, as long as he's better by then. Get well soon, Doc.

[Toronto Star] | [FanHouse] | [Knuckle Curve]

Ya Really Dropped the Ball On That One

Luis Castillo, who once upon a time bragged a big league-record errorless streak for second basemen of 143 games (which ended on a routine play) totally dropped the ball Friday night.

With two gone in the bottom of the ninth during the first game of the Subway Series against the New York Yankees, Castillo botched a routine pop-up in short right field off the bat of Alex Rodriguez. This allowed the tying and winning runs to score, thus ending the New York Mets wild, back-and-forth game by a score of 9-8. Just like that.

One.. Two.. Wait, What??

Dear Milton Bradley,

Please learn to count. One out. Two outs. Three outs. THEN it's ok to throw the ball to the fans. Ok? And if you're going to blunder like that, at least don't do it on the same day that you lost a ball in the sun. Although, if you're going to blunder like BOTH of those, we appreciate you doing it all while playing the Twins.

Love,
BLB

P.S. Lou Piniella? Not impressed with Bradley's math skillz.

Jake Peavy is a Big Faker

Just kidding. Kinda.

Jake Peavy, who doesn't much care for pitching in a San Diego uni, will be out of commission for at least a month now after hurting his ankle. This means we might not see any action from the Padres ace until after the All-Star break.

Speed It Up Grandpa!

Jonathan Papelbon has been fined by Major League Baseball for being too slow.

The Boston Red Sox closer brazenly ignored the newish pace-of-game rule that pitchers must work quickly to avoid drawn-out games. This blatent disregard for Father Time happened Thursday night when he apparently took too long to make his first pitch out of the pen against the New York Yankees, who, by the way, had their high-paid asses handed to them once again by their long-time rivals.

Shin-Soo Choo Thanks Bird for Win

Cleveland Indians out fielder Shin-Soo Choo was 0-for-4 with three strikeouts when he came up to the plate with two on and none out in the 10th inning last night against the Kansas City Royals.

"When I got in the batter’s box, I thought they would want me to bunt, but I appreciated they let me hit away," he said. "I saw the birds. I’ve seen them for weeks and been worried maybe 200 of them would be flying and one would get hit when I was trying to field a ball. Then what would I do?"

You'd say thank you.

The ball nailed a low-flying seagull in the 10th inning, allowing Mark DeRosa to score from second without a throw. The bird flopped around for a couple minutes before flying away, and Cleveland went on to win 4-3.

[Kansas City Star] | [Sportress of Blogitude] | [The Tribe Source] | [Fandome]

Possible Careers for Manny Ramirez

Manny Ramirez is an idiot.

Hopefully we all can agree on that statement. He's shown us with his actions and made it clear with the words flying out of his stupid head: the ones that obviously don't make a pit-stop in his brain before they spill out of his mouth.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Put It Away, Chutley

Chase Utley's third home run in two nights came on a 1-0 fastball from Bobby Parnell to lead off the 11th inning and aid the Philadelphia Phillies in their 5-4 win over the New York Mets.

It was also his 15th bomb of the season, giving him a .303 average and 41 RBIs.

Manny Needs to be Bitch-Slapped

Manny Ramirez says he doesn't want to be a distraction, yet he keeps opening his stupid mouth.

The Los Angeles Dodgers borderline brain-dead slugger hung out with a few reporters Tuesday and discussed his future in baseball. When asked about his recent 50-game suspension, he had this to say...

"That's in the past. Whatever happened, that's in the past and I'm coming to play my game and move on. I don't want to be a distraction for this team."

Oh, but that's not all. He went on to trivialize his actions, create a distraction, and seriously piss me off all at the same time.

"I didn't kill nobody, I didn't rape nobody, so that's it. I'm just going to come and play the game."

Forgive me for being incredibly offended, but to compare unforgivable deeds such as rape and murder to cheating at baseball is just plain asinine.

Manny, you can go ahead and stop talking anytime now.

Update: The Commissioner's Office called to remind the Dodgers today that Manny is not allowed in the clubhouse while reporters are around, and that it's likely not a good idea to have him visit at all until his suspension ends on July 2nd.

[FOX Sports] | [Walkoff Walk] | [FanHouse]

How Scotty Got His Groove Back

Minnesota Twins pitcher Scott Baker started the season in a funk. His record and ERA were disappointing coming into June (just 2-6, with an ERA of 6.32). All of the sudden, he's made some "mechanical adjustments" and is now hurling into badassery again.

Mind you, this is the same Scott Baker who had a perfect game going into the ninth on August 31, 2007 (and then after he gave up a walk, the no hitter was busted up by that bastard Twins killer Mike Sweeney). He also has some complete games under his belt, which these days, I must say, is pretty impressive since pitchers can't seem to get past the 5th inning anymore.

Raul Ibanez Will Come After You

Raul Ibanez is not happy about your allegations.

The Philadelphia Phillies left fielder, incredibly offended that anyone suggest he's ever taken steroids, has made it clear he will retaliate if he hears you talking any more crap about him.

"I'll come after people who defame or slander me. It's pathetic and disgusting," he told the Philadelphia Daily News.

Good Luck With That, Mike Rizzo

I did not watch the 2009 MLB Amateur Draft today, mainly because I just can't handle seeing Bob Selig's dumb face (ed. note: I'm calling him Bob today cause he looks like a Bob, and he's not my bud) every couple of minutes. So, I read about it instead.

The Washington Nationals (man, they're awful) went ahead and selected Stephen Strasburg, just like everyone and their brother predicted. Believed to be one of the most talented prospects up for grabs, the 19-year-old right-hander from San Diego State deals a blazing fastball that’s been clocked at 102 mph. He also has some filthy breaking balls, which are always a nice part of the package.

Strasburg went 13-1 with a 1.32 ERA this season for the Aztecs, leading San Diego to their first playoff berth since 1991. Drafting him was the easy part for the Nats, while signing him will be another challenge altogether. With an agent like Scott Boras, no deal is simple.

In fact, the superagent is rumored to be seeking a record contract, possibly in the neighborhood of $50 million. Yikes! Good luck with that, Mike Rizzo.

And congratulations, Stephen Strasburg.

[MLB.com] | [Federal Baseball] | [MLB Wire]

Josh Hamilton to Return After All-Star Break

Josh Hamilton thanks you for drafting him so early.

The Texas Rangers outfielder will sit out for the next 5-7 weeks after undergoing surgery today to repair a partial tear in an abdominal muscle. Hamilton, injured May 17th after making a leaping catch and crashing into an outfield wall against the Los Angeles Angels, landed on the disabled list last week.

Bobby Cox Is Old

Bobby Cox has been around a while... a long, long while. Long enough to enjoy 2,000 major league victories with the Atlanta Braves. Apparently, he wasn't impressed with the milestone, as he claims he can barely remember the first nine innings. That comes with age.

The 15-inning, 7-6 win over the Pittsburgh Pirates, which lasted almost five hours, actually marked career win #2,355 for Cox, spanning 24 managerial seasons with Atlanta, including a brief four-year stint with Toronto in the early 80s.

Big Papi Needs A Slump Buster

It's not uncommon for sluggers to go through slumps, and while some last longer than others, there are a few who end up having a crappy season altogether.

"Slump" is not the word for what David Ortiz is going through right now. He's just plain awful, and even New York Yankees fans are starting to feel bad for the guy. Let's look at his previous numbers, dating back to the last three seasons...

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

VooDoo Sabermetrics: Randy Johnson

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our twelfth edition of VooDoo Sabermetrics. This week's All-Star is San Francisco Giants future Hall-of-Fame lefty Randy Johnson. We figured now was as good a time as any (is any time ever not the time to VooDoo?) considering he just captured his 300th career victory last Thursday.

Sooze, Babes Love Baseball

Jolliness - My goodness. Judging from the incredibly gay (gay as in festive, chipper and carefree) photo to your right, I'd say Randy Johnson is a pretty jolly guy. In fact, he seems down-right gleeful.

And why not? The guy has five Cy Young Awards, a perfect game, a no-hitter, ten strikeout crowns and as many All-Star selections, at least one win against every single big league team ever, and now 300 wins under his belt. If a career like that can't buy happiness, I don't know what would.

The Big Unit gets nine out of ten Billy Ray Cyruses on Sooze's incredibly fashionable Jollity Scale.

Zambrano Hits a Bomb in Win #100

Carlos Zambrano was pretty wild Friday in his 2-1 win over the Cincinnati Reds, but he pitched well enough to earn his 100th career victory and managed not to piss off any umpires.

The Chicago Cubs righty lasted into the seventh inning, striking out seven batters and allowing two hits with a season-high five walks.

It took Zambrano three tries to reach the milestone since beating the Florida Marlins on May 3rd. After that, he spent 19 days on the disabled list with a left hamstring strain, then lost to the San Diego Padres before being suspended six games for a dust-up with plate umpire Mark Carlson on May 27th in Chicago. Then, he had to wait one more day after rain delayed his chance for victory #100 in Atlanta on Thursday.

Hamels' Badassery Knows No Bounds

Cole Hamels strutted his stuff in another dominant performance Thursday against the Los Angeles Dodgers, tossing a five-hit complete game shutout for a 3-0 victory.

Last year's World Series MVP, who is a lovely 4-0 with a 2.84 ERA over his last seven outings, needed just 97 pitches to finish the ass-whooping. He sent down 18 of his last 20 batters and let only two runners as far as second base, one of them on defensive indifference in the ninth... which barely even counts. Hamels struck out five and walked not a soul.

The 25-year-old Philadelphia Phillies lefty now has five complete games under his belt, three of which are shutouts. Yesterday's silencing of the Dodgers really says something about his talent, however, as they own the best record in baseball at 37-19. The Phils are right on their tails though, at 32-20.

Fun Fact from Elias: Hamels has not thrown a wild pitch in 344.2 innings. That's almost two years.

[Philadelphia Inquirer] | [The 700 Level] | [Philebrity] | [The Good Phight]

Alex Rios: Ole!

Alex Rios went o-for-5 Thursday with not four, but five strikeouts in the Toronto Blue Jays 6-5 loss to the Los Angeles Angels. In the unforgiving world of baseball, we call that a platinum sombrero. This is his second career five-strikeout game, which is pretty tough to accomplish.

Jays second baseman Aaron Hill also went 0-for-5 in the loss, but did not whiff every single time. In fact, he managed an RBI grounder in the seventh. Still, he remains hitless over hit last 20 at bats.

Breaking Um... News

Sammy Sosa has retired from baseball.

Yeah, I was almost positive he'd already retired, as well, but let's go ahead and call this news anyway. To make a long story short, Sosa has announced that he's going to make an announcement. He seemed to have missed the spotlight, so he chirped up and said,

"Hey guys! Remember me? I'm going to retire now, since I haven't played a major league baseball game since 2007 and no one wants my services."

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Mother Nature Makes Big Unit Wait

Some crappy weather left Nationals Park a sloppy mess Wednesday, with the game being called 3 1/2 hours after it's scheduled start. The make-up will be part of a double-header starting at 4:35pm ET this afternoon.

So, San Francisco Giants veteran Randy Johnson will be pitching on seven days rest when he looks for career victory #300 against youngster Jordan Zimmerman and the 13-36 Washington Nationals in the first of the twin bill.

Also? Check out Curt Schilling's take on The Big Unit's quest for his 300th win. Yeah, he still won't shut up.

Update: Johnson successfully attained victory #300 after spending five innings keeping the Nats to two hits on one unearned run. He threw 50 of his 78 pitches for strikes and faced just four batters above the minimum. Nice work.

[AP] | [Bats] | [With Leather]

Baby You Can Drive My Car

I live in Minnesota, so naturally there are Twins fans everywhere. Some wear jerseys and t-shirts while others rock baseball caps.

Some (well, one guy with a helluva beard, anyway) drive a Twinsmobile.

High five, big guy. And stop yelling at me, it's a free country.

This vehicle is no longer safe to drive around the streets of St. Cloud.


P.S. Check out the new Twins blog, Homer Hanky Heaven!

So Long, Tom Glavine

The Atlanta Braves, in an attempt to make themselves seem younger, released 305-game winner Tom Glavine this afternoon.

After undergoing surgery to repair his shoulder and elbow, the aging lefty semi-triumphantly returned to the team he spent the first 16 seasons of his career with (1987-2002) before dating the Mets for five years and then deciding he missed his old flame.

So, am I the only one surprised by this move? I thought he was all set to make his big league return pretty soon. He tossed six scoreless innings for the Class-A Rome Braves Tuesday night and said himself that he was ready to pitch in the majors again.

I'm Your Huckleberry

Roy Halladay chewed up and spit out one Los Angeles Angels batter after another Tuesday, fanning a career-high 14 in the Toronto Blue Jays' 6-4 victory.

The unbelievably awesome right-hander, hunting down his second AL Cy Young Award, earned his big league-best ninth win for his second complete game of the season. He allowed four runs with no walks and seven hits in his sixth straight decision, lowering his ERA to 2.77. Awesome.

Fun fact: Doc’s 14 K's were the most by a Jays hurler since Roger Clemens struck out 15 Baltimore Orioles a decade ago.

[MLB.com] | [The Blue Jay Hunter] | [Drunk Jays Fans]

Ichiro Makes Mariners History

Ichiro Suzuki has extended his hitting streak to 26 games, breaking his 2007 record of most consecutive games with a hit and setting the new standard in Seattle Mariners territory.

It took only three pitches into the first inning from Baltimore Orioles rookie right-hander David Hernandez for the sweet-swinging centerfielder to line a base hit to short. He then made his way around the horn and scored on a two-out double by Jose Lopez.

Ichiro, batting .354 on the season, is currently 1-for-2 with a run scored in the top half of the third inning. We'll keep you posted if he does anything else spectacular.

Update: Ichiro went 2-for-5 with 2 runs scored, adding a two-out single to left in the fourth in the Mariners 8-2 win.

Jim Thome Is a Big Boy

Jim Thome hit career home run #550 Monday night, smoking a go-ahead three-run shot in the eighth inning of the Chicago White Sox 6-2 win over the Oakland Athletics. Clutch.

This particular longball, a 1-2 pitch to left-center off lefty reliever Craig Breslow, marks Thome's ninth of 2009 and puts the corn-fed designated hitter at 13th on the all-time homer list. He also lifted the Sox to .500 on the season, bringing their record to 25-25 for a 3.5-game deficit behind the Detroit Tigers for second in the American League Central.

And I Got Mad Hits Like I Was Rod Carew

Ichiro Suzuki nailed another one Monday, tying the Seattle Mariners’ club record of 25 consecutive games with a hit, which he set in 2007.

The eight-time All-Star lined a leadoff double -- his ninth of the season -- off Baltimore Orioles lefty Rich Hill before taking third on an error in the bottom of the first inning, bringing his batting average to an impressive .352 on the year just a day after enjoying four hits against the Los Angeles Angels.

Randy Johnson: Last of a Dying Breed

This Wednesday, San Francisco Giants lefty Randy Johnson will attempt to earn career victory #300. He will also land on MLB's endangered species list.

The 45-year-old future Hall of Famer, who's enjoying his 22nd year in the majors, will become just the 24th pitcher in the history of this great game to accomplish the feat. To put that into perspective, this guy has pitched from a big league hill longer than some of you have even been alive.

He began his career with the Montreal Expos, who are all but forgotten at this point. Yeah, it's been that long.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

We Heart Matt Joyce

Matt Joyce is a stud. You know it, I know it. Joyce on the other hand, had some butterflies this weekend.

The 24-year-old Tampa Bay Rays outfielder, a local boy who was recalled from the AAA Durham Bulls on Saturday, debuted at Tropicana Field Sunday in center field in front of a dozen friends and family... not to mention the 26,000 strangers. He may have been a little nervous, but the kid went 2-for-3, including a go-ahead solo shot in the fifth anyway.

Of his first hometown longball, Joyce recalled:

Joe Buck Yourself

As if the sports-loving world doesn't get enough Joe Buck, HBO has given him his very own television show. Thanks.

Now, I'm not that hard to please, and it's rather difficult to annoy me. Buck, however, has managed to irritate the crap out of me time and time again. I honestly can't even stand the sound of his voice. At all.

Then I saw this promo, courtesy of Awful Announcing, an expert source for all the stupid things that fly out of commentators mouths.

If Buck pokes this much fun at himself throughout the show, I just might enjoy it.

Edwin Jackson Shuts Down O's

Edwin Jackson simply dominated the Baltimore Orioles on Sunday, pitching eight spectacular innings of two-hit ball to lead the Detroit Tigers in a 3-0 shutout.

Jackson (5-3, 2.30 ERA) allowed only three men to reach base and faced only two hitters over the minimum. The 25-year-old righty fanned seven over 101 pitches before skipper Jim Leyland cock-blocked the opportunity for his second career complete game just an inning too early. Boooo!