David Price Cranks It Up To Eleven

I've climbed slowly from my deathbed after a few days of what I thought may have been some crazy incurable illness to gush about Tampa Bay Rays hurler David Price. I know, I missed you guys, too.

The 23-year-old rookie, who began this season with the AAA Durham Bulls, earned his first big league victory Sunday over the Minnesota Twins, fanning 11 in his team's 5-2 victory. Price, the #1 overall pick in the 2007 Amateur Draft, gave up one run on five hits with two walks over 5.2 impressive innings.

Another Liveblog at Walkoff Walk

Whatcha doing today? Working? Pssh.

You should head on over to Walkoff Walk to follow the Boston Red Sox in their pursuit of splitting the four-game series against the Minnesota Twins at the Metrodome around 1:10pm ET. Josh Beckett will take the hill against young righty Anthony Swarzak in his second big league start... and it's going to be awesome.

Maybe Joe Mauer will hit his 12th bomb of the year. And maybe, if we're lucky, we'll see 1/6 of the wild pitches we saw yesterday.

Be there or get kicked square in the nuts.

[Thursday Afternoon Liveglog Yay!]

Almost There, Big Unit

San Francisco Giants veteran Randy Johnson notched career victory #299 Wednesday night with a 6-3 win over the Atlanta Braves to complete the three-game sweep.

The 45-year-old future Hall of Famer hurled six solid innings, surrendering just one run on three hits and no walks to even up his record at 4-4 with a 5.71 ERA. Johnson, a five-time Cy Young Award winner, fanned five batters, racking up his career total to 4,843 Ks, which just so happens to be the second-most in baseball history. Second only to Nolan Ryan. That's some pretty good company.

Stay tuned for the VooDoo Sabermetrics of The Big Unit, likely coming this June after he reaches #300, which might even happen when the Giants head to Washington for a three-game series against the Nationals on the 2nd. Piece of cake?

[SF Examiner] | [Sports Impact] | [Not the Baseball Pitcher]

Will You Vote For Manny?

After hearing the news that Manny Ramirez was fourth in All-Star voting so far this season, Jason Rosenburg decided to take action.

And so Vote For Manny was born. There is no rule from keeping Manny off the ballet, since he is eligible to return to baseball on July 3, which is 11 days before the All-Star game in St. Louis. He trails only Milwaukee’s Ryan Braun, Alfonso Soriano of the Chicago Cubs and the New York Mets’ Carlos Beltran.

However, the Los Angeles Dodgers plan -- if they do indeed have one -- is to stick Ramirez in the minors before he's allowed to re-join the Dodgers' outfield. In case you've been living under a rock, the almost 36-year-old butterfly-chaser was suspended for 50 games on May 7th after his drug test showed artificial testosterone, a banned female fertility drug prescribed to some people after they finish a steroid cycle to restart natural testosterone production.

Update: Some upset Dodgers fan has found the Vote for Manny site a bit lame and thus has created Vote for Pierre. Um, good luck to the both of you. Man, this is stupid.

[NBC Sports] | [The Big Picture] | [Sons of Steve Garvey]

Eric Milton Still Plays Baseball?

Of course he does.

Eric Milton recorded his first victory since 2006 for the Los Angeles Dodgers on Tuesday night with a 7-1 win over the Colorado Rockies.

Matt Wieters: We Can't Wait

Matt Wieters. We can't wait to see this guy squat behind home for the Baltimore Orioles.

The 23-year-old 6'5" catcher will make his major league debut this Friday against the Detroit Tigers, as announced by team president Andy MacPhail this evening. It's not like he's going to single-handedly drag the Orioles out of the basement of the AL East, but it'll be fun to watch him hit.

Why Is Joe Mauer So Badass?

Minnesota Twins backstop and hometown hero Joe Mauer nailed his 11th home run of the season Monday afternoon during a two out, pinch-hit appearance in the ninth inning against Boston Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon. On his day off. The Sox went on to win the opener of the four-game series 6-5, but Twins fans couldn't help but walk away from the loss with a curious smile on their faces.

It's not like the entire world of baseball wasn't aware that Man Muscles was awesome before this season began. He is, of course, a two-time All-Star, double-time American League batting champ, and all-around nice guy. After completely missing Spring Training and the entire month of April after recovering from offseason kidney surgery and dealing with recurring back pain, Joe is rocking a .444 batting average with 31 runs batted in (breaking Harmon Killebrew's club record of 29 RBI in May of 1961) in just 81 at bats spanning 22 games this year.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Mr. T Pities the Pirates

After throwing out the ceremonial first pitch Monday when the Pittsburgh Pirates faced the Chicago Cubs, Mr. T belted out Take Me Out to the Ballgame during the seventh inning stretch. Quite possibly the angriest version I have ever heard. Also? Nice pants.

[Total Pro Sports] | [Agony Booth] | [Designated Hitter]

Padres Continue Hot Streak - Double Digits!

Who are you guys and what have you done with the San Diego Padres?

It didn't matter that their manager and starting catcher had been tossed on Memorial Day, the Padres found a way to beat the Arizona Diamondbacks 9-7 and stretch their out-of-the-blue winning streak to ten games.

Write a Book About It, Jose Canseco

Jose Canseco faced Korean monster Hong Man Choi in his Mixed Martal Arts debut (a.k.a. his latest attempt at maintaining semi-celebrity status) Tuesday in Yokohama, Japan. He lasted exactly 1:05 seconds longer than I expected. Way to not have any broken bones, buddy!

Speaking of steroids, check out these before and after photos from Sports 2 Debate.

[NY Daily News]

Dennis Eckersley Is Out of Hand

...in a funny way. Not as funny as how gay Brad Penny's cheese was, though.

Thanks to Dan from Red Sox Monster for making finding this video a piece of cake! Have a safe and happy Holiday Weekend, party people!

[CMSB]

VooDoo Sabermetrics: Elijah Dukes

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our eleventh edition of VooDoo Sabermetrics. This week's subject is Washington Nationals screw-up and all-around scary mother-effer reformed outfielder Elijah Dukes. You're in for a treat, since we have some new VooDooers and not one, not two, but THREE Youtube videos for your enjoyment.

Sooze, Babes Love Baseball and Fantasy Pros 911

Jolliness - Jolly is not the first adjective that comes to mind when I hear the name Elijah Dukes. In fact, he scares the crap out of me. Maybe it was the insinuated homicidal picture mail? Not sure when he first started to rub me the wrong way... which is pretty hard to do.

However, he has made strides since joining the Nationals' outfield, so I'll give him a 2 on the Jollity Scale. He does at times seem jovial, though he may or may not be planning a baby mama's murder behind that sheepish grin.

Big Unit Returns to Seattle

During the first round of Interleague play this season, San Francisco Giants hurler Randy Johnson gets to face his former Seattle Mariners team (1989-1998) where he enjoyed one of his five Cy Young Awards in 1995.

Sadly, he could have been looking for big career victory #300, except the New York Mets clobbered him for seven runs on 11 hits in just four innings last Saturday in the Giants 9-6 loss.

Way To Go, J-Roll

Leading the Philadelphia Phillies with four hits (with a little help from baseball's hottest player and middle-infield partner in crime Chase Utley) in their 12-5 victory over the Cincinnati Reds Thursday, Jimmy Rollins reached two huge career milestones: his 1,500th hit and 300th stolen base.

In the second inning with Chutley at the plate, Rollins swiped second base behind a riled-up Ryan Hanigan's back, marking his fifth stolen bag of the season and the 300th of his career.

Then, in the seventh inning, the 2007 NL MVP hit a 1-1 slider from Jared Burton that marked his 1,500th hit, scoring Pedro Feliz.

Just Say No Jake Peavy!

Jake Peavy will remain a San Diego Padres hurler until further notice, as he has used his no-trade clause powers to cock-block the Chicago White Sox.

At least they still have the President.

[Chicago Tribune] | [Online Sports Guys] | [Six Four Three]

Thanks A Lot Jake Peavy

Great. Another favorite player I'll be forced to hate.

There are rumors floating around the internet that San Diego Padres righty Jake Peavy is about to head to Chicago. Only, he'll be donning the South Side Pinstripes, not surrounded by ivy as expected. The deal (contingent upon Peavy waiving his no-trade clause) supposedly includes left-hander Clayton Richard and 22-year-old southpaw Aaron Poreda. However, some reports say the deal is not imminent.

If I were a White Sox fan, I'd be pretty fired up about now. The 17-22 team could use a boost to their rotation, whose inconsistencies this season pretty much end with Mark Buehrle.

We'll keep you posted. Aaaaaaaand, nevermind.

[ESPN] | [MLB FanHouse] | [Gaslamp Ball]

The Real Top Ten Hottest Players In Baseball

I'm a woman who has been accused of being more passionate about baseball than I am about boyfriends.

That may be true, but it doesn't mean I'm unable to spot a smokin' hot baseball player when I see one.

An unidentified Fox Sports analyst has recently come up with a list of the Top 10 Hottest Baseball Players, in slideshow format. What the requirements were to land on this list, I have no idea. It's so incredibly wrong in so many ways, I felt the need to speak out about it.

Jimmy Rollins, Barry Zito and Ichiro Suzuki as your top three? Umm, no.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Big Papi's Slump Buster Worked

Well, it took forever, but David Ortiz has finally busted his slump. We'll let you contemplate the ways.

In the fifth inning of Wednesday night's 8-3 win over the Toronto Blue Jays, the Boston Red Sox designated hitter nailed a two-run shot off rookie Brett Cecil to straightaway center for his first longball of the season. The slump lasted 149 at-bats dating back to last season, which marks the longest homerless drought of his career. That's one home run on the year for Ortiz, and yes, it's May 20th.

You're In Our Thoughts, Schoeneweis

Incredibly sad news comes out of Fountain Hills, Arizona today, as Diamondbacks lefty reliever Scott Schoeneweis' wife was found dead in their home this afternoon.

As this story unfolds, we know very few details on 39-year-old Gabrielle Dawn Schoeneweis' death. Even more disturbing, we've read that she was found in the couple's bedroom by their eldest 14-year-old daughter. BLB's thoughts and prayers go out to Scott and their four children, along with Dawn's family and friends through this very unfortunate, faith-challenging time.

Yankees Don't Know How to Handle Wang

The New York Yankees aren't quite sure what to do with Chien-Ming Wang right now.

The sucktastic righty threw a bullpen session at Yankee Stadium Wednesday, but the club isn't sure when he'll return to the rotation or what they're supposed to do with Phil Hughes when and if he does.

The 22-year-old Hughes is scheduled to pitch Wednesday night and would start again this coming Monday against the Texas Rangers, unless the Yanks decide Wang's sinker is back to what it used to be. If the team does decide to use Wang this Monday or after, Hughes could take a seat in the bullpen -- which has been struggling with a 5.37 ERA -- or worse, return to the minors.

All in the name of another great headline.

[NY Daily News] | [E-Boland and the Bombers] | [Bronx Banter]

Mike Hampton, Are You Joking Me?

When I first heard that Mike Hampton left his Tuesday night start against the Milwaukee Brewers because of a cut on his thumb, I thought it was a joke.

After tossing a season-low 60 pitches during his team's 4-2 loss, Hampton (2-3, 5.23 ERA) allowed two runs on three hits with three walks and four strikeouts.

The Houston Astros oft-injured lefty is either a total klutz or a major weenie. If this guy lands on the disabled list for this, I'm gonna laugh til I wet my pants.

[Daily Astros Update]

Of All the Lame Excuses, Brian Bruney

I've heard some pretty terrible excuses in my day.

"I forgot!"

"The devil made me do it."

"Baby, I was drunk."

Gone Fishin'

It's that time again, where I leave for the weekend to get in to all sorts of trouble. See you Monday... or Tuesday!

Watch some baseball, it's good for ya.

I Hate You, Barry Zito

Dear Barry Zito,

I thought you were a douche before you ruined my day today, but wow. I believe my detest can be summed up entirely by the above photo of you and your guitar, but I'll elaborate.

Citi Field Gets Christened

Big hand to the guys at My Sports Rumors for sharing this video of an almost very naked guy running around the spankin' new Citi Field, a first.

Liveblog at Walkoff Walk With Sooze!

So, if you're not doing anything at 3:45pm ET today, come join in the fun over at Walkoff Walk, where I'll be live-blogging the Washington Nationals @ the San Francisco Giants.

I'll give you one guess why. Anyway, go read it after the game, and I bet you'll almost swear you were actually there! I'm that good.

Weeeeeeeeeee!

Jayson Werth is a Thieving Bastard

Jayson Werth, who rode my fantasy bench all week to make room for my awesome outfield -- who did nothing but suck on Tuesday, I might add -- stole bags yesterday like Dane Cook steals jokes.

The Philadelphia Phillies outfielder's first steal of the night against the Los Angeles Dodgers came in the form of a double steal between him and Ryan Howard, with Werth snagging third in the fourth inning. He ended up scoring on a Jimmy Rollins single, so good job there.

Welcome to Crushingham Palace

Good Lord.

Okay, I'm not going to go on and on about how ridiculously awesome it is that it once again took Ryan Zimmerman only one inning to nail a 1-1 pitch from San Francisco Giants righty Matt Cain for a single to center Tuesday night. Alright, maybe I'll go on a little. This, of course, extends his hitting streak to 30 games.

The only other third baseman to be this consecutively badass was the infamous Pete Rose, who hit safely in 44 straight games, back in 1978. And actually, that doesn't even count, cause Rose played two games in left field during that span.

What is That Thing on Your Face?

Dear Bobby Jenks,

Umm... what's up with that critter hanging out on your chin? Do you feed it, or does it just keep coming back on it's own? It must really like you.

P.S. Intentionally throwing behind Ian Kinsler of all players? Really? Enjoy that fine.

xoxo,

BLB

Josh Hamilton is All Better

Josh Hamilton is finally ready to rejoin the Texas Rangers lineup.

The All-Star center fielder claims his left rib cage muscles felt good enough to play after his final rehab game on Monday. He played all nine innings in center and went 1-for-3 with a double and two walks in the AAA Oklahoma City RedHawks 6-5 loss to the Round Rock Express.

So, he'll return to Arlington for evaluation Tuesday, when he’s eligible to return from the DL, just in time for the Rangers to begin a three-game series against the Seattle Mariners.

Before hurting his ribs crashing into an outfield wall April 21st, last year’s American League RBI leader was batting .242 with two bombs and 10 RBIs over 18 games with the Rangers.

Welcome back, Josh!

[MLB] | [Walkoff Walk]

Halfway Home: Updated

I've been pretty much oozing non-stop over Ryan Zimmerman for the last couple of weeks to everyone I know, so I figured I might as well let the lust spill over to this place. He's blowing my mind right now. In fact, I've pained through the last ten Washington Nationals games, just to see him hit. Yes, it was worth it.

He singled in the first inning Sunday evening off Arizona Diamondbacks righty Max Scherzer to bring his amazing hitting streak to 28 games.

Zimmerman has ridden this impressive streak straight to the halfway point between nothing and history: Hall of Famer Joe DiMaggio's hit-steak record of 56 games. Now, he's no DiMaggio, he has recorded the most hits in consecutive games for any Washington-based player, ever. Making history must feel pretty sweet.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Update: Senator Crushingham extended his impressive hit streak to 29 games with a single to center off veteran southpaw Randy Johnson (who went on to earn career victory #298) in the first inning of Monday night's 11-7 loss to the San Francisco Giants. He'll go for consecutive game #30 -- where it gets real serious -- tonight against righty Matt Cain (3-1, 2.61 ERA).

To All You Mother-Lovers

I'd like to wish a Happy Mother's Day to my mom, Barbie: the most awesome woman on the planet.

Mama,

Thanks for raising me to believe in myself.

Thanks for giving me the tools to believe that I could accomplish anything, as long as I put hard work and dedication into it.

Thanks for making me realize that just because I was a girl didn't mean I couldn't swing a bat, throw some heat, or ride a skateboard.

Thanks for being my inspiration.

Thanks for coming to every one of my softball games when I was a kid. I'll never forget you and dad yelling from the stands "Hit it in the weeds, Suz!"

Thanks for showing me a Mother's love.

xoxo,

Suzy

Bert Belongs!

If Bert Blyleven's 22-season repertoire doesn't punch his ticket to the Hall of Fame (3.31 ERA, 60 shut outs, 3,701 strikeouts -- 6.7 K's per nine -- 4,970 innings pitched, 287 wins, 242 complete games, .247 opponent's batting average, .969 fielding percentage, blah, blah, blah) maybe this stunt will.

Most Minnesotans used worms for the state's fishing opener this weekend (yay!) but not Bert. He chowed some night crawlers in the name of charity before the Minnesota Twins' 9-6 win over the Seattle Mariners at the Metrodome Saturday evening. All proceeds from Blyleven v. Nightcrawlers, which amounted to $15,000, went to the Parkinson's Association of Minnesota.

Bert's reaction to the worms? This may not the first time he's tasted live bait, since he called them "pretty tasty" and "full of protein."

We know you want to see the video...

Bert Belongs!

It's Love

So, we're going to interrupt our exciting Saturday night to update you on one of our favorite players. We're actually considering changing our name to Babes Love Ryan Zimmerman, cause wow.

I've cleared my schedule to watch the last nine Washington Nationals games, just to see him hit. Yes, it's been pretty painful, but watching Zimmerman continue his impressive hitting streak -- now sitting at 27 games -- has made it all worth while.

Zim homered in the top of the eighth inning Saturday night against the Arizona Diamondbacks, taking righty reliever Juan Gutierrez deep to center, giving the Nationals a 2-0 lead for his sixth longball of the year. He's now batting .336 on the season with 21 RBIs. Hot.

Sentator Crushingham (yeah, we're still working out the nickname thing) will get a shot at hitting safely in consecutive game #28 when the Nats take on 24-year-old Max Scherzer (0-3, 3.38 ERA) and the D'Backs for game two game of the three game series.

Baseball Says Goodbye to Dom DiMaggio

Dominic DiMaggio, whose time spent as a Boston Red Sox center fielder was clearly overshadowed by his older brother Joe's illustrious career, passed away Friday at his Massachusetts home, surrounded by his family with the replay of Thursday night's Sox game in the background.

At the age of 92, DiMaggio had seen a lot in his lifetime. I mean, the invention of the almighty television? Microwaves? Computers? Contact lenses? It blows my mind to think about living that long.

The seven-time All Star, who still holds the record for the longest consecutive hitting streak in Boston history at 34 games, was known as the "Little Professor" due to his smaller stature and eyeglasses. And who ended that string of hits for Dom? His big brother, of course. Joe (who set the big league record with 56 straight games with a hit) caught the tough liner in the eighth inning of a 6-3 Red Sox victory over the New York Yankees. At least his team won, I guess.

A life-long Red Sox player, Dom was a career .298 hitter with 87 home runs.

[AP] | [Sports of Boston] | [100 and 8]

Blah Blah Steroids: Manny Ramirez

Manny Ramirez, as mentioned earlier by Marea, will serve a 50-game suspension for screwing up royally, failing to adhere to the MLB Drug Policy. That's fifty games the cruising Los Angeles Dodgers will be forced to play without him.

The news, first reported Thursday morning by the Los Angeles Times, detailed information that the butterfly-chasing outfielder tested positive for what sources identified as the drug human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), which is most commonly used in the treatment of female infertility.

This drug also just-so-happens to diminish testosterone levels at the end of a cycle of steroid treatments. Either Manny is an infertile woman, or he has some explaining to do.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Ryan Zimmerman is an Animal

Thursday was just not the Los Angeles Dodgers' day. Not only did they hear of the shocking (or was it?) news that their star left fielder had failed a drug test, but they also suffered their first home loss of the season. At the hands of the 8-18 Washington Nationals no less.

Washington rallied behind Nick Johnson and Adam Dunn, who each contributed three RBIs, for 10 runs in the final three innings to beat the 21-9 Dodgers by a score of 11-9 on the first day of Manny Ramirez’s 50-game suspension.

By far the most kickass part of the entire game was not just the fact that the Nats actual beat one of the hottest teams in baseball. No, the highlight belongs to Ryan Zimmerman, who went 2-for-4 to not only extend the longest hitting streak ever by a D.C. player, but to keep the best string in the big leagues this season alive. The hot-hitting third baseman, who's batting .336 on the year with 5 bombs and 20 RBIs, has hit safely in 25 consecutive games.

Zim is officially out of control.

[Lester's Legends] | [Fastball Radio] | [Federal Baseball]

Bob Melvin Canned, I Lose

The good news for the struggling 12-17 Arizona Diamondbacks? Their manager Bob Melvin has been canned. The bad news for me? I lost a bet I made this Spring that the first manager to be fired this season would be Milwaukee Brewers skipper Ken Macha. Man, I was so sure, too.

A source close to the team who wished to remain anonymous confirmed Melvin’s dismissal with the AP. This move by the D'Backs brass comes after a disappointing start by the club, who entered Thursday with a big league-worst .225 batting average, sitting 8 1/2 games behind the Los Angeles Dodgers in the National League West.

Melvin, who had one year left on his contract, is the winningest manager in the franchise's brief history. The 47-year-old was hired in 2005 and went on to a 337-340, and was named NL Manager of the Year after leading Arizona to the division title in 2007.

Manny Being Manny.. and Being Really Stupid

Dear Manny,

We kinda figured there was something going on. Joe Torre, Alyssa Milano, and anyone with the hopes of the Dodgers doing well this year are going to be disappointed in you when they lose 45 of their next 50 games.

Signed,

BLB

[ESPN] | [LA Times]

Bitch Tits Unsure About Friday Return

Alex Rodriguez, who up until today was planning on returning to the New York Yankees lineup this Friday against the Baltimore Orioles, is now unsure of when exactly he'll make the month-and-a-half he's sat on my and your disabled lists worth the wait. There are conflicting reports all over the internet, some -- manager Joe Giradi included -- saying he'll be back this Friday, while others say it's not written in stone.

Rodriguez slid for the first time on Wednesday since his March 9th hip surgery, going 1-for-5 with a walk in an extended spring training game. He singled up the middle as a designated hitter and slid into second on an infield grounder after taking a walk in the third inning. He's even hit a few bombs in the process. All good signs.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

You're Embarrassing Me, Mom!

Joba Chamberlain's mother, Jacqueline Standley, was arrested after selling meth to an undercover police officer back in February. Smooth.

Standley, 44, was taken into custody at her apartment Saturday night, and charged Monday with delivery of [exceptionally hazardous] drugs, which just so happens to be a felony.

I suppose a meth habit would explain the crazy look in her eyes.

[TMZ] | [Deadspin] | [Dirtywood]

Carl Crawford is Pretty Sneaky

Carl Crawford went 4-for-4 with an RBI this Sunday, but did something even more incredible. He stole six bases. In one game.

We all know what a thief Crawford is, but geez. No one has done something this awesome on the base paths for 18 years.

Put It Away, Ryan Zimmerman

Just in case you've been living under a rock, Ryan Zimmerman is on a ridiculous streak right now.

The Washington Nationals third baseman is rolling on a club-record 20 straight games with a hit. Friday night against Todd Wellemeyer and the smokin' hot St. Louis Cardinals, he singled to center in the third inning to extend the streak, which is the longest by a D.C. player since Mickey Vernon's 20-game stint in 1953 with the Senators.

To Zim's credit, the humble team player said he'd trade the incredible streak for a few more victories for his no-talent hard-luck club.

You'd think his batting average would be sky-high, but not so much. He's batting a decent .289, with five home runs and 16 RBIs. If that's not good enough for you, don't flip out. In his first three full seasons with the Nationals, Zimmerman has gotten off to a slow start every year. We're talking a .237 career average during the first month. Also, his middle name is Wallace. Just thought you all should know, if you didn't already.

It's a good thing the 6-17 Nationals found a way to settle up with the face of their franchise back in February, before this god-awful season began. Zim will go for consecutive hit #21 when the Nats face righty Brian Moehler and the Houston Astros Monday night.

[MLB] | [The Statline Report] | [Fastball Radio] | [Dugout Central]

Cards' April Comes Out of Left Field

"Wow" is the first word that comes to mind when watching the St. Louis Cardinals play baseball this month. "Really?" is also right up there.

You can go ahead and mark this month down as the best the Cardinals have seen since World War II. They haven't been this hot in April since 1944, so maybe your parents or grandparents... or possibly your great grand parents for all you youngsters out there (stay in school)... recall those days.

They've been playing some darn good baseball so far this season, enjoying a 17-7 start. Friday night's 6-2 victory over the 5-17 Washington Nationals, who seem to be good at nothing but blowing it, was no different.