Babes Love Baseball

Very few people in this world don't like Paul Molitor. Why? Because he's a Hall of Fame charmer, and there is no rational reason to hate the guy. Take me for example, I love him. But I have a story about a man whose day was once ruined by Molly.

My buddy, who is an avid Cubs fan -- we'll call him John, since that's his name -- was at a Tom Petty concert recently, and he had a backstage pass. Naturally, he was pumped out of his mind. After waiting in line for hours for the opportunity to meet the rock and roll legend, he began to grow impatient.

He asked a security guard what was taking so long, since the show was scheduled to start just minutes from then and the Heartbreakers were already warming up.

John: "Dude, what's taking so long?"

Security Man: "Mr. Petty is visiting with Mr. Molitor right now."

John: "PAUL Molitor?!"

Security Man: "Yes."

John: "What the hell. Can't Paul [effing] Molitor hang out with Tom Petty on his own [eefing] time? [Eff!]

Security Man: "Settle down, butthole."

He actually called him a 'butthole'. One point awarded to Security Man for using a word that almost died with Beavis and Butthead. Almost.

Eventually, Tom Petty came out on stage and my buddy went without meeting one of his favorite musical artists because Paul Molitor totally cock-blocked him.

John: "This is total bullshit. You know what, [eff] Paul Molitor. That asshole is dead to me."

The end.