Nationals Pick Up a Free Agent

I present you with the newest member of the Washington Nationals...

Full Name: Sam R. Intoxicologist
Born: To party
Birthplace: Washington, DC
Height: Tall enough to stand at the bar
Weight: A few extra beers
Bats: Lefty
Throws: Up


- Has completed all 12 steps three times
- Can round the bases without spilling his beer
- Leads the league in doubles...seeing double
- Can steal second, and your keg, with blinding speed
- Leads the team in numerous stats, including BAC, DUI, and DWI

Bonus Fun Fact for the Fans: a google search for "drinking" turns up this.


Anonymous said...


Tuffy said...

I assume the Cardinals released him for being too sober for games.

Megs said...

That was awesome - I especially liked the way he throws: up!