Take A Seat, Young Man

Derrrrrrrrrrrr.Not literally, dumbass.

It was love at first sight for Bradley Hosler when he laid eyes on his right-centerfield seat at Great American Ball Park: Section 142, Row 3, Seat 4.

In fact, the thought of parting ways with it last Sunday was too much to bear. Naturally, he decided to keep it.

The 20-year-old retard was charged with vandalism and theft after he broke the seat and took it with him. Apparently, this was a first.
"To our knowledge, no one’s ever made it outside the ball park with a seat," Cincinnati Reds’ spokesman Rob Butcher said.
Fittingly, the young man wore a Reds t-shirt to his court appearance Monday and was ordered held on $1,500 bond.

[Cincinnati Enquirer]


Kerrie said...

Oh my.

mikeski said...

posted by Sooze at 4:30 AM on Jul 3, 2007

4:30 a.m.?!?!

Sooze said...

Haha! Well, I don't get home from work until 2:20am... then there's the excessive coffee-drinking past midnight... I'm kind of an insomniac.

Bassmaster said...

Who does that? Seriously? Winona Ryder wouldn't even steal a seat from a stadium.

Anonymous said...

I love how you crossed out the word retard just in case any retards were reading.

Do people still get offended by the use of that word? I do believe Nicholas Swardson said it best: It's like using the word gay to describe something dumb. IT'S JUST A WORD!!! How else am I supposed to describe a fanny pack?!"

Sooze said...

Oh. My. God. Anon, you're my hero. I do believe that this is the first Nick Swardson reference ever in the history of this blog, and I sure hope it's not the last!