Dear Diary: A.J. Pierzynski

We here at Babes Love Baseball pride ourselves on being able to bring you nothing but the finest and most groundbreaking in baseball news. So being as charming and beautiful as we are, we've been able to charm our way into getting access to your favorite MLB player's personal journals. Today, we hear from AJ Pierzynski. If there's any particular player you'd like to hear from, feel free to let us know.

Dear Diary:

Today was awesome. I woke up, banged my housekeeper over the kitchen sink WHILE the bitch was making my breakfast. While I ate my sausage and ham omelette with a side of steak, I made her irrigate my balls with her tongue. Whatever, I'm fuckin awesome. Bitch better remember to iron my daughters ugly head bow collection.

After my shower, I went outside naked and kicked my neighbor's cat. I hate cats. I love being naked though, and I bet all the LADIEEZ love seeing them some naked AJ in the morning. Hell, the men probably do too. I'm just so goodlooking, I bet even the birds want to find a way to do me. Seriously. Who wouldn't.

I got in my Hummer, and drove around intentionally looking to run down some rabbits/squirrels/small children. I managed to hit a rabbit. HAHAHA BITCHEZ, I KILLED THUMPER. The smell of rabbit brain on my wheels gets me horny. So I find the nearest 18-year-old slut clearly asking for it, and give her something to remember me by. Haha, antibiotics will clear that one up.

So I guess I have to play today or something, so I head to the park, punch a small boy asking for an autograph and show him the rabbit carcass on my car. Kid cries. I laugh. Crying kids make me hot. Find assistant trainer. Fuck her in my locker.

I'm a fighting, fucking, throwing machine.

Love,
A.J.